


A Thousand Years (I have died everyday, waiting for you)

by imargarita



Series: Feels Like Home [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Companion Piece, F/M, M/M, ben and rey forever but not yet, flashback sunday, intern/mentor, the pov you didn't need, undergrad and attorney is now a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-10-09 18:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17411687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imargarita/pseuds/imargarita
Summary: A companion fic toFeels like Home, because why not?Ben Solo does not have time for an intern, and defintely he does not catch the feels for Rey Andor. Even when he can't keep her out of his mind. Maybe he needs to fuck her out of his system... once or twice should be enough right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie/gifts).



> We don't get a lot of Ben's internal monologue in the original fic. I wanted to give him equal opportunity.

His door is open, so he hears the tell-tale click clack of his mother’s stiletto heels on the floors of the legal department. He hears her greet the new legal coordinator outside his office with: “Don’t worry about it, Kate” – because of course Leia Organa-Solo knows the name of an assistant who started 2 days ago – “I’ll just pop right in.”

“Hello, Mother,” he stands, unbuttoning his suit, as she enters and closes the door behind her. She’s dressed in a light blue pantsuit, and the frames of her glasses perfectly match. He moves from his desk to stand near her.

“Ben,” Leia tilts her head up, and it is he who bends to her will, and places a kiss on her cheek. He pulls the chair out and Leia takes the seat. He follows in the other seat, his elbow resting on the arm chair, his hand coming to his mouth, the index finger at his lips, and his thumb at his chin, wondering what has brought Leia down from the 50th floor. Leia smiles.

“Don’t say it.” He puts his hand down and leans forward.

She shrugs, they both know. _Just like your father_.

“I just came from HR. You haven’t signed up for the intern program yet.”

“Mother, I don’t have time for an intern. I’m an attorney, not a teacher.”

“Of course you have time. Ben, education is one of the tenets of the Foundation, and it would be remiss of us to not give opportunities to as many students as we can.”

“Mother, I have 15 international contracts on my desk that require attention. What is an intern going to do for me?”

She laughs, “Your first mistake was thinking you had a choice. I’m not asking as your mommy, I'm telling you as your CEO. Pick one, Ben.”

He fills enough information on the company internship page that he is allowed access to the entire new class of interns. He is staring at the list of names when his phone pings. 

> Poe: **_Dinner. I’ve already got a table across the street._**
> 
> Ben: _**Be there in 5.**_

The hostess who leads him to Poe’s favorite table gives him a smile, “If you need anything, Mr. Solo, my name’s Gina.”

“Thank you, Gina.” She is stunning. Blonde, blue eyed, her neckline cut low and her skirt cut high. He imagines her long legs wrapped around his waist and he stares at her until her eyes blow wider and her lips part in understanding.

She places a manicured hand on his bicep, “Anything, Mr. Solo.”

Poe snorts from the bench and they both look at him. Gina blushes and Ben shrugs. Ben’s focus shifts as he takes his seat, forgetting about Gina and reaching for the whiskey already waiting for him.

“ _Anything, Mr. Solo_ ,” Poe mimics in a singsong voice.

“Are you jealous?” Ben asks, taking a long sip.

“It’s difficult being the work husband after all. With such a slut for a partner.”

Ben almost chokes on his drink, “Wow. I have photos, videos, and an impeccable memory of your long history, Poe – don’t ever run for public office. My escapades pale –”

“I’m reformed. I’ve found the one.” Poe smiles at the thought of his boyfriend.

Ben rolls his eyes. _The one._ Too many members of his family share the same affliction: his maternal grandparents, Han and Leia, his uncle and aunt. He is surrounded by people in love, but has never felt that same spark. There are too many women in the world to settle for just one.

“Hypothetically, if Finn left you” – Poe scoffs and Ben pivots– “if you had never met Finn at all, then, what’s the chance you would already have Gina’s number in your pocket?”

Poe smiles and it is one that takes up his whole face. The man is too fucking beautiful and he knows it. “Fair. OK, I didn’t call you here to talk about your immoral ways, Ben.”

Ben sighs, “There’s been a lot of that going on today. Talking. My mother dropped by to speak to me about the intern program. And my mandatory participation.”

Poe leans forward, “Really. That’s interesting.”

“Stop keeping me in suspense, Dameron.”

“I thought I should at least buy you dinner first. It would be the right thing to do.”

“I’m not hungry. But keep,” he tilted his glass towards Poe, “these coming and we’ll be all good.”

“Shit, if that’s all it took, I have a few bottles at my place.”

The server stops by and Poe orders a steak and a glass of red.

Without looking at the menu, Ben orders as well, “I’ll take whatever the seafood special is and keep the drinks coming.”

“I thought you weren’t hungry,” Poe accuses.

“I changed my mind.”

“It’s lobster, asshole,” Poe says with a grin. For seafood, only calamari is lower among Ben’s preferences.

“Fucking of course.” It’s a game he plays, food Russian roulette. Thank the gods he’s not allergic to anything. “Well, since it’s not going to be an amazing meal, there’s nothing to spoil. Go ahead, spill. What do you want?”

“A small favor.  I kind of talked Finn’s best friend into applying for the internship program. The kid’s brilliant but for some god-awful reason wants to be an attorney one day.”

“You’re insulting me and yet want me to do you a favor. You’re shit at this.”

“Ben, come on,” Poe’s voice is almost whiny, a residue Ben supposes of knowing each other for as long as they have. They’ve slept in the same crib, Leia has pictures. “It’s only a three-month rotation in legal.”

“Fuck fine. What is this kid’s name?”

“Rey. Rey Andor.”

When he collects his coat from the restaurant, it is Gina who hands it to him, and he grasps her hand in invitation.

* * *

She wears red lipstick and later when she is on her knees in her bedroom, the smear of the lipstick on his cock heightens his desire as he spills into the back of her throat. They spend a few hours together and he leaves without exchanging numbers; he knows where to find her and he may indulge a few more times. But he’s young, single, and rich – partners are interchangeable. If he needs someone to accompany him to the multitude of events he must attend, he rotates among a select few: his cousin Jaina, his associate Jessica, or a short list of blonde models who look great on gossip sites.

He’s living his best life. Even if some times he has obligations he is loathe to do. At least Poe has asked him a favor in a way that will also appease his mother – _your CEO –_ as well. Playing mentor to Rey Andor for three months won’t take that much of his time, not really.

But part of him wants to tell Poe to sit on a tack and spin, this opportunity should be given to some kid who has had to fight tooth and nail to get ahead – not some friend of Finn who probably went to the same privileged high school and is probably the son of some Microsoft or Skywalker Technologies executive.

But then again… Ben has met Finn. Finn is one of the most decent people he knows.

* * *

When Ben gets home, he pulls up Rey Andor’s resume.

It’s typical. His academic work is rigorous, and he maintains a high GPA, making the Dean’s list every quarter. Then it gets interesting on the second page. Rey Andor has been volunteering at a women’s shelter twice a week for the past three years, works at a mechanic shop on the weekends, and still is active in various clubs at school. So maybe there is something there.

There definitely is, Ben decides as he reads the personal essay. It is done at the end of a long day where the potential interns come to the Foundation, are given a short tour, go through two rounds of interviews, and then are ushered into the large auditorium to write an impromptu personal essay in two hours.

The question is one of those “bare your soul to me” question that the intern committee loves: William Gates, Sr., Seattle icon and cherished elder of the Washington State community, once said “The first five years have so much to do with how the next 80 turn out.” What does this mean to you? 

_People talk about how losing your mother is one of those life altering events – so losing my mother at five could be an essay onto itself of how that shapes my next 80._

_But you asked about the first five. So let’s start before the beginning: I have no idea who my father was. My mother may have known, but she did not share the info with anyone else to my knowledge. I also don’t have an idea who my mother was either. I know her name, the way she smelled, and how she hugged me tightly every night. But she died right before I turned 6, so I never really got to know her. I know she kept me loved and safe the best way she knew how to. Through living in cars, in shelters, on friends’ couches, she kept me safe until she couldn’t anymore._

_And right now, still in the beginning of my 80 years, those experiences have led me here to the Organa-Skywalker Foundation. The Foundation was not around when I was five. Had it been, maybe my mother’s life would have been a little easier if she had accessed your programs around economic mobility and opportunity. She isn’t here, so let me be the voice at the table for those who will benefit, give voice to those you want to serve. Let my first five years help shape your Foundation._

Rey finds his pace in the rest of the essay and cites Foundation programs, national statistics, and ties it with the Foundation’s global agenda. He even paraphrases another of William Gates, Sr’s quote: educating mothers is the key to changing the world. It’s _the personal is political_ wrapped up in an eloquent bow. It walks the fine line of _thank you for this opportunity to be an intern_ and _you need me more than I need you_.

Ben likes the balls on this kid. Maybe being a mentor will be fun. He sends an email to HR requesting Rey Andor for the first rotation of the program. He’s a senior staff attorney, the placement is guaranteed.

Then he sends a text to Poe. 

> Ben: **_Done. I look forward to working with him next month._**

Poe’s always up so the bubbles on his text message aren’t unexpected. They do start and stop a few time before Ben gets a response – 

> Poe: **_Her. Rey’s a she, you sexist pig._**

_Fuck._ He leans back against his couch and laughs. He’s the son of a feminist icon and made the wrong assumption from a _name._  

> _Ben_ : **_I use “he” in the general term for humankind._**
> 
> _Poe: **No you didn’t, but good comeback. Keep your wits about you, because Rey doesn’t suffer fools. You’re going to love her.**_

_Doubtful_ , Ben thinks to himself, hoping the ninety days go quickly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey Andor, Pre-Law.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Intern Day at the Foundation!

He walks through the lobby of the Foundation, a grande americano in one hand as he reads his emails with the other, when he finds himself slowing down just from the press of people in his personal space of two feet around him. He raises his head to find there are dozens of people in the lobby. _What the hell?_ He thinks to himself, the lobby is never this crowded. Well, maybe never. Once or twice a year at -

_Fuck. It’s today._ _Intern Day is today._

It feels like the Model UN clusterfuck he had to attend last year as a guest speaker. He felt every one of his years then, and he feels them now. At least none of these college students are old enough to be his children. _Barely. In a few years that won’t be the case, Solo._

He looks up at the mezzanine where the younger employees – and some older ones who should know better – are gathered. Intern day has another name among the staff – Pamplona – a nod to the running of the bulls… _and bullettes_ , Poe had said the first year Ben joined the company. He spies Jess Pava – who definitely should know better – standing at the railing. She waves at him, pulls out her phone, and his phone pings in his hand. 

> Jess: **_You look so cute and lost down there. Are you getting itchy from all the polyester?_**
> 
> Ben: **_Why are there so many of them?_**
> 
> Jess: **_How is this even a surprise for you? Oh yeah, you’ve managed to circumvent the process for the past three years._**
> 
> Ben: **_I should have worked from home today._**
> 
> Jess: **_But then you’d miss the intern-mentor lunch!_**
> 
> Ben: **_You have got to be kidding me._**
> 
> Jess: **_Nope. Did you forget to make reservations?_**
> 
> Ben: **_Reservations?_**
> 
> Jess: **_Lucky you! I had Kate get a table for two at –_**
> 
> Ben: **_Cancel it. We have a perfectly decent cafeteria –_**
> 
> Jess: **_This poor girl. She sure got the shit end of the mentor stick._**
> 
> Ben: **_Jess_**
> 
> Jess: **_Ooopsie. Wrong thread._**

He glares at her but she is pretending not to see him as Poe moves to stand next to her. Poe does see him and gives him a thumbs up. _Moron_.

Ben clears the security station, none of them have been given their badges yet – thank the gods for small favors.

“Ben, how are you?” Someone greets him by slapping him on the shoulders.

Ben does a double take as he realizes his uncle is standing next to him. “Uncle Luke?”

Ben looks around, and no one is making eye contact except Luke. _Typical._ There’s no reason his uncle should be here. He is Chairman of the Board of Directors, and there is no Board meeting scheduled in the imminent future. There is no reason Luke should be using this elevator either, not when he has access to the private elevator that bypasses the first 50 floors of the building. Ben asks the obvious, “Why are you here?”

“I always come to see the new talent, Ben.” If anyone else had said it there would be some dirty connotation behind it. _Talent,_ wink, wink. But Luke is smiling, and rubbing his hand togethers, excitement in his blue eyes.

“Doesn’t SkyTech go through the same process?”

“Engineers, Ben. Programmers. It’s not the same things. Here are people who are going to be teachers, doctors, lawyers, scientists, and some government hacks but a small percentage! These fresh and eager people represent a much bigger slice of Americana. The world really.” Luke believes in the mission of the Foundation as much as his sister. During orientation, one of the stories the HR team tells is how Luke and Leia flipped a coin to decide who would run the profit side and who would get the Foundation. Leia won.

“Exciting,” the monotone delivery makes Luke chuckle.

“Your mother did tell me you’re participating this year. She said you even picked one out your all by yourself!” Luke is rocking on the balls of his feet, his hands in his pockets, brimming with excitement.

“Yes.”

“Rey Andor was it? She impressed the Selection Committee immensely. Treat her well, Ben, they think she’s going place.”

“We’ll see.” The elevator door open and he and Luke get on. No one else dares.

* * *

He is redlining an MOU with the People’s Republic of China when Kate IMs him. 

> Kate: **_Your intern is here. Are you really taking her to the cafeteria?_**
> 
> Ben: **_What else do you suggest, Kate?_**
> 
> Kate: **_At least let me order sandwiches from the Cantina._**
> 
> _Ben: **OK but tell her not to get used to it. We’re here to work. Ask her what she wants. And get something for yourself.**_
> 
> Kate: **_Should I order something for Jess?_**
> 
> Ben: _**Absolutely not.**_

Jess can pound sand. He gives Kate his order, closes the IM window, and heads back into the document. When the door opens he glances up.

Rey Andor is definitely not what he expected.

“Hi, I’m Rey, and it is such a pleasure to meet you! Thank you for the opportunity!” She says and comes up to his desk putting her hand out for him to shake. She smiles at him and it takes up her whole face, lights up her hazel eyes. There are flecks of green and gold that… sparkle would be a stupid word he decides. But it's the truth - her eyes sparkle.

She’s a brunette, though in this light, her hair is more chestnut with streaks of golden brown in them. It’s done in some half up, half down style – _does she not believe in first impressions?_ – and she hasn’t bothered to smooth out the flyaways. Her makeup is simple, maybe she’s only wearing lipstick and eyeliner? Or maybe just lipstick, she’s picked the most flattering shade of light pink for her skin tone; but as he looks closer – she is not wearing any makeup. _Who is this girl? She’s just been given the opportunity of a lifetime and she hasn’t brought her A game?_

He stands – she’s of decent height for a woman, about 5’7”, but so little compared to him he could encircle her little waist with both his hands –

It’s been a few second more than is proper to keep someone hanging. He looks down at her outstretched hand noticing her nails are cut short, and it looks like she might have broken the one on index finger –

“Are you still working at the garage on weekends?” He asks, the fact rising to the front of his brain.

She looks at him quizzically, and retreats her hands. “Yes… Mr. Solo.”

“It’s Ben, and please have a seat.”

“Ms. Andor, please tell me about yourself.”

He watches her lip – pretty light pink lips – form beautiful shapes as she speaks, “There’s not that much that you don’t already know, it’s all in my resume and personal essay.”

“You have an accent. You’re British?”

She shrugs. “I was born in America, but my mum and aunt are British. I just never got rid of the accent since I was around it for so long… and when I’m nervous it’s more pronounced. I don’t usually speak like this,” she blushes, “I can hear in my head how formal I am. Seriously, I’m not –”

She’s fucking adorable. He raises a hand and stops her.

“Well it’s not like you’ll be asked to speak that much during your internship. You’re here to listen and learn. So don’t worry about it. Remind me: how often will you be working here? With your schedule and such?” He says _schedule_ in the British way – _shed yul –_ and her eyes go wide.

“My schedule,” she is deliberate in giving it a hard _k_ sound, “allows me Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and all of Friday. The Foundation’s stipend allows me to take the internship for credit.” She blushes again, hearing herself speak.

_So formal._ He wonders what _Yes, Sir_ would sound like coming out of her mouth. He should take it back, make her call him _Mr. Solo_ again, or _Sir_ …

“If you want to come for more time than you’re scheduled, please feel free. In fact,” – he reaches for his phone, unlocks it and offers it to her – “here, let’s exchange contact info. If we have a project that takes up some of our weekend time, you can come in and observe. And make coffee or something.”

The last was bait, and she takes it beautifully, her eyes narrowing at him and never leaving his gaze as she reaches into her own pocket, placing her phone in his hand and taking his. Her phone is smaller than his, but there’s no password and he swipes the phone open. He waits until she’s done before entering his number and pressing send, saving it under his name.

They exchange phones again, and he places his back on his desk. “Pretend I haven’t read your resume… tell me about yourself, Rey.” It comes out softer than he usually speaks. He sits back. “Wow me.”

“Why? I’ve already got the job,” she bites back.

“True. Very true. But I dole out the assignments. So wow me.”

Rey, in her untailored gray polyester skirt, crosses her leg and does just that. She starts by talking about her family – an aunt, uncle, and young cousin recently moved back to England – her passions: women, education, children, economic justice. And her face lights up, transforming her. Rey Andor is the real deal, and her A game puts her peers to shame.

* * *

He doesn’t know how much time has passed – it feels like mere minutes – when Kate pops her head into the room, “Ben, lunch is here. Do you want me to bring it in?”

Ben looks at Rey as if to ask _what do you think?_ and she sends him a look that conveys _you’re the one in charge, make up your mind._

“That would be fine, Kate.” She closes the door behind her.

“Are you hungry, Rey?”

“Gods, yes,” she lets out a groan – and he cocks his head towards her. She blushes again. _Really this is too easy._ “I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

Ben glances at his computer screen, it’s only a little after noon. He has looked at – he chuckles – the day's _schedule_ and knows this morning she was sitting in an orientation where they serve coffee, pastries, and fruit. “Three hours ago?”

“I didn’t have much. A couple donuts, some fruit, and a bear claw. All carbs. No nutrients.”

_This girl._ By his estimate she has already consumed about 1500 calories and does not look like she is about to slow down.

Kate comes in with a tray of food and places it on the table near the windows. Ben stands and Rey mimics the action, following him to the sitting area. She takes the couch and he folds himself into the armchair.

“Well don’t let me keep you. Please go ahead,” he grabs his sandwich and starts to peel back the paper wrapping. He bites into the sandwich slowly and looks her way –

Watching her eat is a revelation. First, she actually eats. Second, she ordered a meal of pasta salad, soup, sandwich, chips, and chocolate cake. She tastes each course separately, savoring each item. She stabs at some pasta with gusto, before she spooning some of the soup into her mouth and sucks on the spoon slowly so that it pops clean out of her mouth, “Soooo good. I love tomato soup.”

She surprises him and offers him the cup – not her spoon, but the cup itself. He shakes his head. “I’m watching my figure.”

“What’s life without spice and flavor?” She asks, taking a bite of her sandwich – it’s the same as his, an Italian sub and groans. He stops mid bite listening to her. _Jesus Christ._

She admits, “Oh this has great flavor. This is my new favorite thing!”

“Until dinner?” He asks.

She shrugs, “You only live once, Ben.”

They finish, chatting very little. A crumb at the corner of her mouth bothers him, makes his hands itch until she wipes it with her napkin.

They chat a little about a few projects he has. Her eyes light up when he starts to give her details on the micro-loan project they’re working on in Africa. _Gotcha._

“I can explain micro-loans to you,” he starts. Really, she has the most expressive face. It’s a game almost, to see how far he can push her. She’d probably punch him given half the chance. And now he’s about to insult her intelligence. Again. “A Bangladeshi social entrepreneur started a microcredit bank in the 1970s –”

“Muhammad Yunus and the Grameen Bank, you mean? The same Muhammad Yunus that won a Nobel Prize for the idea? I’m familiar.”

He nods. Of course she is. He fakes impressed – he’s been impressed for hours now – and say, “Oh, good. I’ll have Kate give you the file for the project so you can take a look at it. Tell me what you think…. catch any grammatical errors. You spell “color” in standard American English, right? Not _c-o-l-o-u-r_. That shit drives me up the wall.”

“Sure, no problem, Ben.”

* * *

Ben comes out of his office to check on her progress around 3:00 PM. Both her desk and Kate’s are empty. Jess’s door is closed, so he walks over to Rey’s desk. A notebook is open and her handwriting is just like her: messy and - he reads her notes - and insightful. Her phone, next to her notebook buzzes and a message pops up on her screen - 

> **BFFinn: _How goes fighting the good fight?_**

The little idiot has her notifications on preview. The little idiot likes to give people cute nicknames. _Hmmmm._ He takes his phone out of his pocket and calls her number.

**_His Royal Assholery is calling_** pops up on her locked screen and he shakes his head, grinning. It’s not inaccurate. He’s been called worse. By his parents.

Only then does see how she’s entered her name. _Rey Andor, Pre-Law_. There’s no such thing as Pre-Law at U-Dub. He hates the arrogance of baby lawyers, 3Ls are the worse. This one isn’t even in law school yet, but this one… this one takes the cake.

This is definitely going to be an interesting three months. He only realizes he’s still smiling when he goes back into his office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is smut happening the next chapter? Who knows? Ask Ben. He's running the show now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first three months of Rey's internship!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I lied. We keep the M rating. For the swearing.

_She was attractive._ No big deal. Over a thousand people worked for the Foundation. Many of them were pleasing to look at. He was a professional and not run by his hormones like a goddamned child. Hell, even when he had been a child that had been nipped in the bud pretty quickly. At 15 Leia had sat him down. _You’re a Skywalker, and compounded on that you’re a Solo. You feel more than most people, I get it. But, Ben my love, people will always, always be watching you. Either control the narrative or they will._ So he did. He was mercurial – _there were just so many morons surrounding him_ \- but he fucking delivered. Every single time.

So when Rey Andor came into the office for her second day much cleaned up – he could clinically assess she was attractive. Beautiful. Radiant. She wore a light smattering of makeup, _a damn shame how they covered her freckles,_ and nothing could really compete with the sparkle in her eyes when she smiled … except the fire in them when he pushed her buttons.

 “This NDA has no teeth,” Rey comments as she throws a scribbled copy on his desk. At the top she had written and underlined _Why Bother?_ in red sharpie.

It’s a Wednesday when she barges into the office – he has for the most part an open door policy – and part of him realizes it is not one of the days she’s supposed to be here. Except she’s been interning for over a month and he can’t remember a day she missed. He’s sure she’s cutting some of her classes to make it to the Foundation every damn day.

“Of course it doesn’t, but it’s all we have until the actual Master Services Agreement can be done. And trust me, the Saudis they like to fuck with every word. That’s going to take months to finalize, so we work both docs together.”

“I can’t believe we’re in bed with the Saudi government.”

“I’d call it more a first date. That’s what an NDA is…. Or like a Dom/sub contract.” Really he shouldn’t say shit like this to someone he has only known for a few weeks. He says shit like this to Jess all the time and she rolls her eyes at him, but that is after three years of friendship and still it had taken him months to warm up to Jess. He’s known this idiot for less than two weeks.

Rey blushes first before she rolls her eyes. “So will we have to add something like training manuals to the MSA? Do you want me to research that?”

“I’ll think about it.” He holds the document out to her, “Go back. Reread this –  and seriously, there’s a redline feature in Word, your handwriting is chicken scratch.”

He holds on to it tightly, so she needs to exert actual force when she pulls it out of his hands. He’s looking at his computer screen which is open to his calendar – _lunch with Hux –_ so he’s not making eye contact with her, but he feels her death stare nonetheless. Looking at her would be a bad idea, because there’s a 50/50 chance he will burst out laughing.

Only when she is gone does he google dom/sub training manuals on his phone.

* * *

_He was attracted to her._ Even that wasn’t something to write HR about. This is a large organization and people will date each other, some have actually met their spouses while working together. There is even one divorced couple where both of them still work for the company _– good gods that was an HR nightmare._

There are rules –  there’s a page on the intranet site he helped update when he first started; but he rarely _dips his fountain pen in the company ink_ (seriously Poe is a moron). But there have been a few times. All with women who are in management, and none who live in the Seattle area.

He’s attracted to lots of women. There’s a statistic about men knowing in the first few seconds if they would have sex with someone, but there is a galaxy between knowing you would fuck someone and actually fucking them. Things like consent, opportunity, and further interaction. There’s no reason to be celibate when there are so many women out there; and if one is somehow _taboo_ , there’s always another to take her place. Except –

He’s attracted to her – even if she isn’t his normal type. She a little rough around the edges, wears her heart on her sleeve, _but damn if she’s not cute and wicked smart._

He knows the attraction is mutual. She looks at him sometimes as if she is thinking _things_ about him. They’re few and far between, of course, most of the time the look on her face evinces _this asshole._ _But with respect._ She hangs on his every word. Their conversations are lively, and her intelligence is the most damnable attractable thing about her. Her eyes come in a close second, and her ass… her ass has its own category.

“What’s one of the first rules of contracts, Rey?” He asks looking out at the building in downtown Seattle. From here he can see across the way to Alki Beach.

“Get it signed?” She asks from the couch. There is lunch – Jess has treated their unit with food from the Cantina – and stacks of paper on the small table in front of her. She’s holding a sub sandwich up to her mouth and takes a bite when the silence extends for more than a few seconds.

He turns from the window and takes the armchair. Rolling his eyes, he sighs. Really, this idiot. “Because?”

“Then it’s enforceable?”

“Except?”

“Except when it’s illegal…. I mean I could ask for something ridiculous right? Like Party A must deliver all edits to Party B in Word format and redlined against previous changes or the document doesn’t meet the terms of delivery… so technically Party A would be in ….” She looks at him to provide the word, and give him a side eye. She has yet to deliver anything in redline. All her comments are still handwritten.

He ignores the jab, mostly. _“_ Let’ go with _noncompliance_.”

She shakes her head, “Breach – I think breach?”

He nods, encouraging her to continue.

“But it’s not material is it?” She wonders.

“Is it?”

“It depends. Depends on the parties? Is the deliverable that important? Have they had the relationship for a while, or is this is the first time it happens? Does it create foreseeable delays, or worse, financial impact?”

“Good. So, think about how you would make it explicit that nonconformance to certain things are important, and others are nice to haves.”

She mulls it over for a bit, and he can actually hear the gears turning in her head, her thinking is so loud. “It’s kind of awesome, right? The court will enforce a ridiculous agreement between two parties even if doesn’t affect anyone else in the world? But damn, what a waste of resources.”

“Baby lawyer, you might have just graduated to training wheels. Toddler in Tiaras, Lawyer in Tiaras?” He grins, and delivers, “I present Princess Lawyer.”

“Baby lawyer is pushing it, Ben; but if you call me princess, I’m definitely calling HR.”

_His father calls his mother Princess._

* * *

What is a fucking nightmare is when he realizes she is distract – no, that’s not fair – she’s not distracting him. _He is distracted by her._

It takes him a while to actually realize it, and it takes hours for the pieces to fit, but it starts at dinner with Poe. Poe asks, “So? How is our Rey-Rey doing?”

Poe had been in London, so it’s almost six weeks of interacting with Rey on a daily basis. _Rey-Rey. Cute._ Ben bites into his salad. “She’s adequate.”

Poe pretends to clutch the table. "Wait, she's not incompetent? Did you just give her a compliment?”

“Like you said, she’s intelligent. She definitely has a bright future ahead of her.”

“She’s a great kid, Ben. Not just smart, you know? She cares about people… I mean the night before Pamplona, she spent it waiting with some kid at CPS while they tried to figure out a fostering arrangement. She didn’t even go home – came straight from helping this kid to the Foundation, didn’t even make it home to change. So even though I'm probably low on them, I'd appreciate another favor. Cut her some slack for a bit.” 

That explains then, why she was more put together the next day. Not overdone, Rey doesn't have time for that overpolished look when her natural beauty is -

He realizes Poe has been waiting for him to say something a tad too late. “Ben?”

He clears his throat and grabs for a glass of water. Only after putting it back down does he reply, “Ms. Andor can handle herself. I don't cut people slack, Poe. You know that.”

Poe has perfected the dramatic sigh, it starts with a deep breath in his chest, and a roll of his shoulders and head at the same time, and ends with a shake of his hands, “The whole point about being in love with a man, is that a woman shouldn’t control my life anymore. But here we are. If she’s unhappy, Finn is unhappy…. Also, I heard what you did.”

“Which is?” He’s done a lot of things.

“The first day thing.”

“Is it that whole not taking her out for that fancy mentor-intern lunch? Jesus Christ, you guys forget we work for a nonprofit.”

“With a $15 billion endowment. Yeah, those lunches are going to really threaten delivering on our core mission… No, not the fucking lunch. _You never even shook her hand_.”

_He hadn’t?_ No he had not. He hasn’t touched her. Not a hair on her head, not even a friendly pat on the arm, not even accidentally. He makes sure he doesn’t. Because –

He shrugs. “That was… unintended. But she brought it up to you?”

“It was rude, and you know it. I was embarrassed to be your friend for a few hours when I heard.”

Ben does have the decency to feel embarrassed. “Has she said anything else? Does she hate it? Working for me?”

“That was the extent of her complaints, at least that’s all that Finn was willing to tell me. What’s it to you though? What she thinks about you?”

“My Uncle knows about her. That’s unusual for an intern, for the Chairman of the Board to know about you.” The governor’s granddaughter was Jess’s intern last year and it was uneventful.

“I’m not surprised at all. There’s something special about our Rey-Rey… after this is all over and she moves on to the next rotation, we’ll have you both over for dinner. So she can give you the _what for._ Tell you what she really thinks about the Big Bad Ben Solo.”

“I look forward to that conversation.” It would be nice to take her out of the office setting. Get to know her better.

Poe smiles a stupid sphinx smile and Ben resists the urge to keep going down this path. “So how was London?”

* * *

The hostess is staring at him as she hands him her jacket and lingers on his arm. _Why is she staring at me? Does I have food on my face, goddamnit Poe._ She looks like she wants something and for the life of him -

"Gina-" he remembers. 

"Ben." She steps into his space and he can smell her perfume. _J’adore._ He remembers it at the pulse point on her neck, between her breasts. He met Gina the night he learned about Rey. 

"Thank you," he takes a step back, pulling his arm away. "It was nice seeing her you again."

She's blinks as she looks at him, as if she doesn’t understand what he’s saying, but then he takes another step away from her. She gives him slight nod. "Have a nice evening, Ben."

It at his condo, when he is getting ready for bed, that he realizes there is actually something the fuck wrong with him. A beautiful woman propositions him for an enjoyable evening and he does not take her up on the offer. It’s been a while since he’s actually hooked up with anyone. He goes long stretches, never more than two months, where he takes care of his needs himself.

Work has been busy, he supposes, but the holiday season is coming and he will need to attend more than a few parties. Though his partners are accommodating, he’s still courteous and thinks he should start calling a few before the season is in full swing. Some may be in relationships at this point, and he always makes sure to go out with a few women. So everyone remembers he is not looking for a relationship. 

He lies on the top of his sheet and reaches for his phone. He could have someone here in 30 minutes, maybe 20, he thinks as he scrolls through names. But he scrolls past each one. Until. His hand hovers over Rey's name and he - 

> Ben: **_Do you speak any language other than English?_  **
> 
> Rey: **_hello ben_**
> 
> Ben: **_Count American and British English as 1 language for this purpose._**
> 
> Rey: **_i speak a little French_**

He doesn't have any French contracts - and his French is flawless. 

> Rey: **_what's up?_**
> 
> Ben: **_Never mind. It's a Mandarin contract. I'll see you tomorrow._**
> 
> Rey:  **_no_**
> 
> Ben: **_Excuse me?_**
> 
> Rey: **_what? no one says no to the great ben solo? got a mtg w my advisor. see u Friday_**

Ben wants to tease her. He knows she’s changed his name on her contact list and given him an upgrade from _Royal Assholery_ to _Lucifer Incarnate_. She leaves her phone everywhere. A few weeks ago, when he and Jess came back from lunch, Rey’s phone – she has a Mr. Spock phone case – had been on her desk. He convinced Jess to call herself and **_Great Destroyer Jess is calling_** flashed on the lock screen. It’s an ode to her addiction to shoot out games and Jess laughed and begged Ben to call too. _Fuck no, Jess._  

> Ben: **_Good luck with that. Are you changing majors, baby lawyer?_**
> 
> Rey: **_u found me out. i'm going to do something easier. rocket science. though these screen shots of you harassing me might get me a generous settlement package -_**
> 
> Ben: **_I'm sorry to have bothered you, Ms Andor._**
> 
> Rey: **_i was kidding!_**
> 
> Rey: **_Ben_**
> 
> Rey: **_Ben cmon I was kidding_**

A minute passes. 

> Rey: **_Im not offended by you calling me baby lawyer_**
> 
> Rey: **_Ben_**
> 
> Ben: **_screen shot that one, rey_**
> 
> Rey: **_goodnight ben_**

It’s late. Too late to call someone, he thinks as he reaches for his dick. He’s hard. _Probably from denying himself that gorgeous hostess. Gina… think of Gina. Visit Gina tomorrow. Call someone tomorrow. Go out with anyone. Anyone. But -_

_Except there isn’t anyone else._ He imagines Rey on her knees, taking him into her _gorgeous mouth with her perfect pink lips._ Her eyes closed, until they aren’t and she staring up at him with her gold green flecks, taking as much of him as she can, he’s hitting the back of her throat, her hand reaching out to grip what can’t fit in her mouth– and he’s coming and coming. _Perfect. So goddamned perfect._

_He’s fucked._

* * *

 

The next day as he brings Kate coffee, he looks at the intern cubes knowing Rey isn’t going to be there but hoping all the same she is. _Fucked,_ _completely fucked._

“Thanks, boss!” Kate says as he drops off her disgusting sugar and chocolate monstrosity.

Jonah Kellan, son of the state’s Chief Justice, lifts his head from his desk. “Hey, Ben! How’s it going?”

He grunts. Jonah is Kare Kun’s intern but she hates the intern program more than Ben does. And since she’s working with Lando on one of his special projects, Ben and Jess have been deemed the intern babysitters for the time being. Kare sends Jonah busy work, older documents executed months ago – _I’m not letting an intern touch my WIPs, Ben, are you kidding. Wait, you let your intern do real work?! –_ and Ben or Jess is supposed to give him feedback.  

“Hey, just thought I’d let you know. I’m going over Andor’s notes and putting them in Word -”

This gets his attention. “Excuse me? Did Rey ask you to -”

“Course not. I saw them on her desk and damn – she’s cute on how she tries so hard right?”

“In my office. Now.”

Kate hasn’t been on the job long, but she is good at it, and the shake of her head is so small that most people wouldn’t notice it. She knows Ben will see. _He’s just a kid._

He really should take her warning. But he’s Ben _fucking_ Solo and he only takes shit under advisement.

Jonah Kellan is quick to stand and follow Ben. Ben leave the door open.

“So Jonah, I’ve been remiss. Tell me about yourself. The important stuff.”

“Well, you know who my mother is.”

He nods. Andrea Kellan is a lion in the legal community. First in her class at Harvard, she came home and rose through the ranks of private practice and then the public sphere. The state’s youngest attorney general, then a judge on the Court of Appeals, before becoming Chief Justice a few years ago.  

Jonah is still speaking, “… you’ve been a hero of mine for a while. We’re following the same trajectory. We’re both from good families, I hope to go to your alma mater –”

Ben doesn’t say anything even though he knows Jonah’s type. Jonah has heard praise all his life and expects it from people like Ben, people he thinks are just like him… But Ben doesn’t say the words that Jonah wants.  There is no _Harvard would be lucky to have you,_ no _you’ll love Boston,_ not a word of _you will fit right in._

“But my heart’s in Washington, you know. So there’s also U-Dub to consider.”

Here is where Ben would like to say _Harvard dodged that bullet._

“Maybe we’ll be the first mother-son CJs on the state supreme court.”

_Unlikely._ Jonah has his mother’s ambition, he does not have her intelligence. “Stranger things have happened.”

“And it was an honor to be chosen for the intern program, to be among so many future leaders…. and then to give these kids like Andor, you know, who wouldn’t have a chance in hell otherwise to get such opportunities, it’s –”

“Good for the Foundation.”

“Yeah, really good. Anyway. I was looking at her papers –”

“Because?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve said Rey didn’t ask you to help him. So why were you looking at her projects?”

“Just helping another intern out.”

“Did you skip the privacy training?”

Jonah visibly swallows. “No? I mean, no I didn’t.”

“The one that says we work on a need to know basis, and if you’re not asked to participate, then it’s none of your damn business, and even if you are asked to participate – especially from an intern – you would naturally check with your mentor, or one of the other attorneys on this floor, that it is OK you work on confidential information?”

This applies more to the staff accessing personal health information, but Ben’s positive Jonah doesn’t know the nuances.

“ _I’m sorry._ I was just trying to help.”

“That’s admirable, but it could also get you into trouble, so stay out of her projects unless she asks you. Thanks, that is all.”

* * *

He doesn’t call Gina. He doesn’t need to call anyone because his cousin Jaina calls him. She needs a plus one at the Children’s Hospital Holiday Party since her husband will be out of town. He agrees and asks if she will attend the Bar Association party as his date since it’s the same weekend.

“I’m a way more expensive date. I eat _and_ drink,” she reminds him.

“Everything is hosted.” He types her event into his calendar and when he looks up Rey is hanging by the door frame and he motions for her to come in for their 3 PM meeting.

“Oh then I’m definitely coming to your fancy lawyer party. They always stock the best alcohol.”

“Thanks, Jai. I really appreciate it.”

“That’s what family is for. Besides I’m sure there are dozens of women who are going to be sorely disappointed you wasted one of your date nights on your cousin…. Though I give you free rein to pick someone up at either party – as long as you pay for my Uber home.”

He agrees, “I’m not abandoning my date at a party. My mother would kill me.”

“If it gets her grandchildren? Please she’d send her helicopter to get me.”

He laughs and hangs up. Rey sits patiently, her arms crossed at the notebook on her lap, and she is quiet as if she is thinking too fast. She doesn’t meet his gaze, and the set of her mouth makes him think she is not liking whatever she is thinking about.

“Any issues I should be aware of?”

She shakes her head. “Nope. Everything is perfectly fine.”

* * *

It’s the beginning of December when Ben and Jess are reviewing the internship requests for winter quarter. Most interns spend a quarter at a time in a department before rotating out, but both Jonah and Rey have asked to continue in legal. Lando has left it to them and Kare has made it clear she has done her community service and will not be continuing with an intern after the new year.

“You should take him officially,” Ben suggests, smirking.

 “Gods no. The kid’s a mansplainer,” Jess replies. “He is a mansplaining champion.”

Ben pauses. He knows what mansplaining is and if he were to look at his own interactions –

Jess laughs and shakes her head at him, “Oh, no, you’re condescending to everyone: man, woman, child, the Attorney General of the Unite States… but Jonah specifically targets women. He tried to explain Title IX to me yesterday. Badly.”

“He what?” Jess works on the national education initiatives for the Foundation. She’s one of the subject matter experts everyone goes to when they need background. _See, the world is full of entitled morons._

“He thought it was only for sports. _Le sigh._ I need to update the intranet site on that.”

“Does he know Google exists?” Ben asks.

“His dad’s a Microsoft exec. I think he worked on Bing – so Jonah should have at least _binged it._ ”

“Don’t try to make that a thing please.”

“He’s a brown-noser.”

“How does that work? With him being a mansplainer too?”

“Not too bad. The other 2 interns are male after all. So only Rey and us poor female staff attorneys get the brunt of it.”

“And you and Kare haven’t called him on it?” As soon as he says it, he knows it’s a mistake –

“Are you victim blaming, Ben?!?” She smirks.

“Are you a victim, Jess?” He bites back.

“We could go all day.” They’ve done it before. Their biggest fight – and the entire legal department’s – was one of Lando’s email comments: _Scalia is a genius no matter how you feel about his personal beliefs._

“We don’t have time for this… I’ll keep a look out…. And drinks? My place this weekend? I’ll see if anyone else is up for it-”

“You should invite the interns we like and then on Monday the 3 of them can reverse-mean girl him.”

His sigh is not as dramatic as Poe’s but she laughs anyway.

After their meeting, Ben sends a quick email to HR and cc’s Kare and Lando, “ _Advise Ms. Andor that I am happy to have her for another rotation. And though I will not be able to add another intern to my roster for winter quarter, I will revisit my availability in the spring.”_

Then he sends a group text to Lando, Kare, and Jess. 

> Ben: **_We regretfully are not able to accommodate Mr. Kellan next quarter. We wish him well in his future endeavors._**
> 
> Kare: **_Good riddance._**
> 
> Lando: **_KK, please give Mr. Kellan our thanks and be sure he gets at least a nice goodbye lunch._**
> 
> _Kare: **No problem boss. It will be my pleasure, though Ben Jess since you’ve both spent more time with him, wanna join?**_
> 
> _Ben: **Not particularly.**_
> 
> Jess: **_I volunteer as tribute to come to his goodbye lunch and/or exit interview._**
> 
> Lando: **_And Ms. Andor?_**
> 
> Jess: **_Oh we like her. We’re going to keep her._**
> 
> _Lando: **I’ll see what I can do. There are a few other people she impressed during the interviews. Amilyn would love to have her.**_
> 
> _Kare: **Fighting over an undergraduate intern? I’m intrigued. Jess let’s have drinks later and you can tell me more.**_
> 
> _Ben Solo left the conversation._

He opens another chat. 

> Ben **: Well, your death wish may come true. You might be stuck with me one more quarter, Baby Lawyer.**
> 
> Rey: **_Oh goodie I may yet see how the saudi contract ends. plus you know all the best places to eat_**
> 
> Ben: **_I’m glad you’re getting so much out of our mentor-mentee relationship._**
> 
> Rey: **_I won’t quit until you say “I learned more from my student than she learned from me” and you dedicate a bldg in my name. Pref  in London, so my grandparents can see it_**
> 
> _Ben: **We don’t need to build anything in London.**_
> 
> _Rey: **yet**_

****

* * *

 

Fridays always have a different energy around the office. Only a few souls stay late, people are rushing to go to happy hour, dinner - anywhere but here. It’s two weeks until the Christmas holiday and Ben expects the legal department to be a ghost town. Yet, all four interns are still in and having a lively debate it seems. He stands just so in the hall so no one can see him, and listens. They all are all in the middle of finals, so he thinks maybe they’re discussing school.

“She’s got a point,” Evan, the 2L from Seattle University, is saying.

He hears a sigh from Jonah. “Maybe. But I don’t think this is what Ben wants. Work in the arbitration clause.” _So actual Foundation business and not some end of year frat party?_ He’s impressed.

“No. No. Without parameters it doesn’t make sense,” Javier, the 3L for UW, comments.

“I see what you’re saying, Javi. See, Andor, you really should -”

“That’s exactly what I said 20 minutes ago,” Rey responds, her voice getting louder as she speaks, “and you didn’t listen to me then. But now that Javi says it all of a sudden it somehow makes sense to you-”

“Jeez. For real, Andor, calm down. You know I didn’t say anything to Ben or Jess yesterday, but you’re super melodramatic. Not that Jess would ever listen to me, but Ben would-”

“Ben would what? I pretty much get a low down from Ben every few days and he’s satisfied with my work.” _Damn straight._

“Poor kid. You don’t get it do you? This is just all to make you feel good. It’s not like Ben or any of them are giving us actual work-”

“Speak for yourself, Jonah, my shit’s real. Lando let me sit in on a meeting yesterday,” Javier argues.

“And I got to deliver my papers to the Japanese Consulate,” Evan adds.

“OK. Maybe them. Because they’re real law students, Andor, not us. Our shit’s just made up-”

“Yours maybe,” Rey replies, “because your mentor doesn’t care about you. You’re still mad, aren’t you? That I found a copy of the executed contract in the files –”

“That’s so against company policy. A breach of privacy, Rey. You could get in a lot of trouble for that. We should look to see your Saudi contracts, I bet it’s been done for years.”

Ben has had enough. He coughs loudly as he enters the office space.

“Messrs. Tomas, Lincoln, and Kellan. Miss Andor. Sounds like lively debate. What are you all working on?”

 “We were comparing the clauses in our four contracts, to see if we could standardize them,” Javier replies.

_Not a bad idea. Generally._

“We were looking at the arbitration clauses, and they’re all similar, except for Rey’s… so Javi and I thought she should change the language to her contract,” Jonah says, his tone almost disappointing, if it wasn’t for the gleam in his eyes.

“Ms. Andor, the reason?” Ben’s voice is calm. He knows the four contracts. Knows them well, and there is a reason.

“Mine isn’t ours,” she blurts out and he catches the triumph in her eyes. _She’s fucking with all of them._

_Good girl._ Ben nods, giving her permission to continue.

“Their three contracts were all drafted internally. We controlled the template. Mine, the Saudi one, didn’t start as one of ours. The Foundation didn’t draft this originally. So, the Saudis entered it and I figured you had already reviewed it and OK’d the discrepancy.”

“I had, and I did. Good job. Thank you, Rey. Mr. Kellan, my office please.”

This time he closes the door before motioning Jonah Kellan to take a seat in front of his desk.

“What did I tell you about not involving yourself with Ms. Andor’s projects, Mr. Kellan? I thought I made myself clear the last fucking time we talked?”

Jonah is taken aback, but not smart enough to take the hint that this is somewhere he should not be treading. “It wasn’t her project, Ben. Javier was the one who brought it up. Then she wouldn’t take his advice! She has no respect – she doesn’t even know that Javier’s dad is managing partner at the city’s top law fir-”

“I am aware who Marc Garcia-Tomas is. Just as I aware that his son is not him.”

“Why do you care so much? Why do you spend so much time with her?” He whines. _The fucking kid is actually whining._

“She’s my intern. I’m giving her useful feedback, she takes it, and runs with it, Mr. Kellan.”

“What for? She's nothing, Ben - a nothing from nowhere regardless of where she went to school. The only reason she was at Seattle Prep was because her uncle was a teacher. She didn't belong there that's for sure."

Not for the first time Ben wonders _Why does he keep talking?_ _Is he a complete idiot?_ His mother is one of the most astute people Ben knows.

Jonah continues, "You know who my mother is. You know where Javier comes from. Hell, Evan’s uncle is the Spokane District Attorney. Rey is nothing, comes from nothing."

Ben leans forward, elbows atop his desk and seriously asks, "Are you adopted?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your mother. She's one of the sharpest legal minds in this state.... but you are a fucking moron. Rey Andor is goddamned gifted. Don't take my word for it, the selection committee accepted her on her first interview with praise on her intelligence. I'm fucking tempted to open yours. One million dollars says your notes include the phrase _We have to take him, his mother is the goddamned CJ of Washington_.... so yes, I know who your mother is. And I’m sure you’re going to use that to keep pushing you up the ladder, because you’re not talented enough to climb it on your own.”

Jonah starts but Ben interrupts him, “Done. We’re done. Get out of here, and if I hear any more of this shit – if Rey tells me you’ve even peeked at her desk - I’ll have you moved to working on microloans.”

Ben knows Kare hasn’t informed Jonah he will not be in legal next quarter. He doesn’t know where Jonah will land, he doesn’t care really.

* * *

It’s after 6:00 when someone knocks on his door. “Come in.”

It could be a number of people: his mother, Jess is a possibility but a long shot, more likely it’s Poe to drag him to dinner. But it’s not any of those people. It’s Rey. She stands in the doorframe, and he takes a good look at her. It’s casual Friday so she’s dressed in jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and a purple UW vest. A purple sequin headband adorns her head. She’s the perfect poster girl for a beautiful undergrad. He thinks she should be on recruiting materials.

She’s amazing really. Her life is going to be filled with assholes who will discount her because of her sex or because of where she comes from. But the fire inside her won’t be extinguished, her ambition and her brains will take her far. Jonah Kellan may be Andrea Kellan’s biological son, but it is Rey – and women like Rey – who are Justice Kellan’s ideological children.

_It's been a long time since he's actually had a crush on someone._ That it’s someone brilliant and beautiful, not so much a surprise. But that he genuinely likes being around her and she seems fond of him too….

“Come in,” he says again, this time less gruffly. It would be nice to see his mother, he could probably grab a drink with Jess or Poe, but with Rey… he could just sit her and watch her all night.

_She’s a kid,_ his brain tells him. _She’s a grown adult,_ his cock says.

She walks slowly to his desk and stands there, her fingertips grazing the edge. He can’t read her face, probably for the first time since he’s known her. “I don’t need rescuing.”

“I didn’t rescue you…. what did Mr. Kellan say?”

“Nothing. He just kept glaring at me.”

“Does that bother you?”

“Not at all. I’m used to it. But I don’t want people thinking you’re playing favorites, that when it’s difficult working with people, you just make them go away.”

He laughs at that. “What? This isn’t the mob, Rey… and of course I have favorites. I favor the intelligent ones.”

“Ben. I’m the only female intern here.”

_Yes, I’m fully aware._ “So?”

“I don’t want people to talk.”

“Rey, you’re my intern. I have a responsibility to make sure you’re getting what you need out of this internship. Sexism has no place at the Foundation. One of our core tenets is the advancement of women in society…. No one is going to talk. We’ve done nothing wrong. It’s Jonah who put the Foundation at risk.”

She slumps on the chair…. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything, Rey.” He goes back to his work, but he keeps rereading the same paragraph over and over. It still doesn’t make sense to him. _As soon as she’s gone, I’ll head home. Go the fuck home, Rey._

“Ben?” He won’t look at her.

“Yup?” He crosses out a contraction. _Grammar, I’ll concentrate on the grammar._

“Let me buy you a gratitude drink.”

“Rey, I didn’t-“ and then “-are you even 21?”

He knows she and Jess have gone out a few times with the other interns and legal staff. But she’s only a junior.

“I have a great fake ID…. I’m kidding. I’m over 21…. C’mon, Ben, prove to me it’s OK. That we’re OK. Let me buy you a drink.”

There’s nothing against fraternizing, hell his mother hosts several intern parties throughout the year. And he would really like to spend time with her outside of the office, “One drink.”

“Perfect!” She smiles at him and he let’s go of a breath he realizes he wasn’t holding. “I’ll let you finish your work, and I’ll be right outside?”

“No – no, I’m already done.” He saves and closes the document and then locks the screen.  “You want to head across the street?”

She shakes her head, “Not really. Jonah could be there – and I just don’t want to see him right now. Does that make me a coward?”

The question is clinical, as if she hasn’t really considered it. They both know she’s not. Or she knows she’s not, and she wants to see if Ben thinks the same. Instead of answering her question, he asks, “Are you afraid of him, or are you afraid you’re going to beat the shit out of him?”

It was the right thing to say to her. _He_ wants to beat the shit out of Jonah, but Rey can handle herself. Now she knows he knows.

“Well, stuff like that would be a hindrance into getting into a good law school.”

“Don’t worry,” he says, standing and grabbing his jacket. “You’re going to get into any school you want. And all without a CJ for a mother… now c’mon I’ll take you to my neighborhood bar.”

* * *

They exit the third floor of the garage and it’s still relatively full of cars. They’re all late models including his mother’s light blue Bentley, a few Ferraris, Aston Martins, and Lando’s Bugatti. Lando and Leia probably jumped in Han’s Falcon, their regular Friday routine.

Ben lets Rey walk a little ahead of him and she strays towards –

“Which one is yours?” She asks, walking backwards to speak with him. Ben’s black Escalade is the only car under $100,000 on the entire floor.

“Guess.”

She turns away from him.

“Well it has to be black,” she says sagely, surveying the rows of car on one side. There is only a Ferrari and an Aston that fall into the category and she touches the hood of the Ferrari reverently.

He clicks on his car alarm, and the lights on his Escalade – across from his mother’s car – flash.

“Really?” She asks and they walk towards the SUV together. He opens the passenger side and she climbs in sliding her jeans on the black leather seats. “So this is how the other half lives. I thought there would be more champagne.”

“Do you like champagne?” He asks, his hands finding the roof of his car as he looks down at her. She has buckled herself in, her slim legs crossed in front of her while she touches the dashboard.

“I’ve never had it,” she admits.

“We’ll have to find something to celebrate then.”

She smiles, “We should.”

His favorite neighborhood bar is in West Seattle, the community just above Alki Beach. It’s a stone’s throw from his condo and frequented by so much old money that no one even bats an eye when he enters. The clientele skews older, and his father loves this place. If it weren’t Friday night, there would be a high probability Han and Leia would be here, but Han has a standing Friday poker night with his buddies.

The booth at the back of the bar is available – and the bartender moves from his area to take their orders. Ben does whiskey neat, Redbreast to start. Rey orders a Tito’s smash and the bartender raises an eyebrow at her.

“I’ll go see if we have serrano peppers,” he says and leaves them to it.

“Are you one of those millennial mixologist groupies?” He asks.

“Ben,” she shakes her head at him, “I work at a garage. I don’t even know what a mixologist is.” She winks at him and he shakes his head. When their drinks come - they did have serrano peppers it seems - she takes a sip with a loud _ah_ and then offers him a taste.

Maybe it is because they are out of the office and there is no one there to stop him, or maybe because she is so damn beautiful; but whatever the reason, he can’t help but wrap his hand around hers, bringing the drink to his mouth. His hands are larger than his, and it’s the first time he’s touched her, the back of her hands is soft and he presses slightly into her knuckles before taking a generous sip. It’s sweet, spicy, bitter, and lime.

“Like?” She asks. He removes his hands from hers and she takes the drink back. _He likes too much._

“It’s very you,” he responds and reaches for his own drink.

“Can I taste yours?” She asks.

He slides the drink towards her and she wraps both her hands around the tumbler. She smells it and then takes a drink.

“Verdict?” He asks.

“It’s very you.”

“So you don’t like it,” he teases.

She shrugs and takes another sip before handing it back, “It’s got a kick in the beginning, and then it’s warm, smokey right before you get just a hint of sweet – it’s growing on me.”  

Her smile does more than the whiskey to warm his chest.

They talk for hours and are least eight drinks in and she’s keeping up. She’s also managed to keep up with his habit of jumping from subject to subject. They talk about her classes, restaurants around town, the political climates in Europe and North Korea. She tells him about Sharknado and he doesn’t believe her so Googles it. _Fucking American television._ Which gets them discussing his love of the British Sherlock Holmes with Benedict Cumberbatch. She tells him to watch a show called Misfits.

She’s an old soul and a breath of fresh air all at once. It hits him that he only has this camaraderie with a handful of people in his life, and most of them have known him since he was a child. He tells her, “My cousins would love you.”

“Your cousins?”

“My Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara have twins: Jacen and Jaina Skywalker? Well, Jaina’ a Ross now. But they would love you. They love toppling me off my place.”

She asks with her doe eyes, “What exactly is your place, Ben Solo?”

“The top of the world, Rey Andor,” he answers downing his whiskey. He motions for the bartender for a refill. “But eventually Chief Legal Officer of the Foundation.”

“You want Lando’s job?” Lando is General Counsel.

“No I want more than Lando’s job. I want it all. All legal under one person.”

“Why not just Chief Executive Officer?”

“My mother’s never going to retire, Rey.”

She nods again, “I can see that.”

Somewhere along the way they have moved closer together. The bar might be full of very important and very rich Seattleites, but they’re a loud bunch nonetheless, so when Ben and Rey speak it’s with mouth close to ears, and he can feel her breath along his lobe each time.

A member of the Nordstrom family yells she will goddamn burn the town down if the Seahawks do not win the Super Bowl.

“They are so going to win!” Rey yells back and the two women slap high fives at each other. She buys them a round of drinks.

When he leans down to whisper something next, he tucks a stray behind her ear. Her eyes are bright and dark at the same time. They continue talking.

“Finn played football?!”

She snorts. “Guess what position.”

 “Please, please no – not a tight end? No way.”

“Of course not, homophobe! He was the kicker.”

“Is that why you know so much about football? Finn?”

She shakes her head. “I lost my virginity to the captain of the football team when I was a sophomore in highschool.”

“A sophomore?” He raises his hand, “I’m not judging here… I was the same age, and they say girls mature faster, right?”

“Orphan. Foster system,” she explains. “I had a lot of shit to work out. It could have been so, so much worse. And it wasn’t bad as far as first times went. He had a nice car.”

Ben snorts. “A nice _car_? Really?”

She pokes him in the shoulder. “C’mon, my brain wasn’t fully formed yet… and it wasn’t nearly as nice as yours, Solo.”

He catches her fingers when she tries to poke him again. He squeezes them once before reluctantly lets them go. He can see her blush even under the low lights of the bar.

“Though I’m still surprised you’d don’t own a Ferrari. Or that Bugatti.”

“That’s Lando’s car… What did this first boyfriend of yours drive?”

“A Ford F-150 of course. And he wasn’t my boyfriend… I don’t have boyfriends…. But he let me work on it. For the two weeks we fooled around.”

He wants to stop thinking about her with other men – a boy really – so he changes the subject. “How is that mechanic job treating you?”

“Pretty well. I get to work on some _sweet_ cars.”

“What about an original Falcon?”

“Yeah, right. There were only a few hundred made. Who’s got one of those?”

“Han Solo, of course.”

She squeals. “I would love to see it.”

“No problem. He loves showing it off.”

When he looks at the clock above the bar, he’s surprised to see it’s almost midnight. They have made friends with the bartender, or Rey has since Ben has known Charlie for a while. She notices him looking at the clock, and she says, “I should get going soon.”

She makes no real effort to move. Charlie drops her a Moscow mule – she doesn’t stick to any one drink and Ben is fascinated by how she does it. There is no rhyme or reason to her drink choice except she likes vodka. She nurses the copper cup between her hands, bringing it to her lips every so often.

“It’s Friday. What have you got going tomorrow?” He asks against her ear, so close to flicking his tongue against it. _Jesus fuck._

“Besides a few hours at the garage, and then time at the shelter? Trying to figure out how to change my schedule since Jonah and I share a class next quarter, and I really don’t want to be in the same room with him if I don’t have to” She takes a longer drink this time, before asking, “Ben?”

“Rey.” He says it as almost an apology, to say _you deserve so much better._ He expects her to continue on the line of conversation about leaving. She’s being polite, he figures, and is looking for a way out of here.

But she surprises him, “What did Jonah say to you? About me?”

“Stupid shit you don’t need to worry about.” He replies, and she doesn’t say anything but her fingers move the few inches between them, wrapping her hand around his wrist, her long fingers not meeting. He imagines her hands wrapped around his cock _._ “Rey-”

“If it’s anything like he’s told Javi and Evan then I’m sure it went along the lines of I’m nothing, I come from nothing, I’m going to be nothing. He’s not wrong. I’m really nothing at all.”

“Not to me,” he says and moves his other hand over hers. He traces her index with the pad of his finger and then hooks them together. She tugs back, not releasing his wrist.

He is fascinated with how slim her fingers are. But when he looks at her, her eyes are locked on him. She blushes slightly. When he leans forward, he sighs against her ear, “Rey.”

She shifts, pulling away momentarily and tucks a leg under her so she raises herself closer to him. When she rubs her nose against his it doesn’t take much at all to lean forward and take her lips in a kiss. 

She tastes like ginger ale, vodka, and sunshine. When he slips her tongue into her, she opens wider, her hands coming to lay flat at his chest. He pulls her against his body, stealing all the breath she has, pouring all the breath back into her.

She pulls her head back – and he is immediately empty. “Ben…”

She leans her forehead against his temple, her hand sneaks against his trousers – he twitches as she presses her palm against him. “Rey. Gods, Rey, you taste so fucking good…. What do you want, Rey?”

He wants her to have every single opportunity to think about this. Fuck there’s no way he’s passing a sobriety test at this point, but at the same time he’s never been so sure he wants someone.

If she tells him she still needs that ride back to the U District, he will call the Uber himself. He’ll be fucking disappointed, but he’s going to respect that and follow her lead. He can be purely professional, he knows it –

Her lips find the side of his and she places a kiss there, and trails kisses to his ear. She bites at the lower lobe and desire shoots straight through him. Her breath is hot against his ear and she whispers, “I want you to taste me everywhere, Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Schedule? Nope. Nope. Nope. 
> 
> I'll clean up the grammar and spelling this week. Also if it's not obvious, non-beta'd because we only care about alphas! (I will never write an ABO. I'm sad about this, but you should all be glad).
> 
> Chapter has been changed from the original posting, because that's how I roll.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where they bang. Because that's what happens when you drink irresponsibly and are attracted to someone. You pretend the drinking is what makes you fall on their dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've been following this story, I redid Chapter 3 with more stuff. It's not that important, but in case you like words, go back and reach Chapter 3 again.

The kiss is permission in more ways than one. Once he has tasted her – _once they have tasted each other_ – everything changes and they cannot keep their hands to themselves. Above table, he presses soft kisses at her temple, her nose, the side of her lips; she nudges the tip of her nose against the shell of his ear, then nibbles at his lobe. Below table they stray into indecent territory every few minutes, her hand reaches under his sweater, slipping between his jeans and his skin; his hands – on top of her clothes because _jesus once he gets his hands on her skin -_  squeeze at her perfect ass, lowering until his index fingers dip at where her thighs meet her cunt, he can feel the heat of her even through the denim. When her lips find the pulse point at his neck, he cups her tighter, and when she hitches her breath, his entire body feels electric.

If he were anyplace else, he would be concerned at how much he is actually touching her. He has been pictured since he was little, pieces of his life laid bare before Seattle and the world. By necessity he has learned how to be distant, it works.

_But this girl._ He cannot get enough of her. Luck is on his side, as it often is. It’s on the other side of midnight, the bar is almost empty, and those here are too drunk and too rich to care about where Ben Solo’s hands are.

They are moving again into indecent territory, one of her legs is thrown over his thighs and she seems ready to climb into his lap. _Who the fuck was he kidding thinking he could wait to touch her bare skin?_ He untucks the back of her shirt, toying with the clasp of her bra, he could undo it with two fingers –

Someone clears their throat and Ben looks up to see Charlie with a shit eating grin.

“Anything else, Ben? Rey?” He asks but he is already pushing the receipt towards Ben.

The receipt is long. At least they weren’t complete idiots and actually ordered food. He vaguely remembers Rey ordering every one of the late-night happy hour specials. The amount of drinks and food would be impressive for a party of more people. The empty containers more so. _He loves how she doesn’t give a fuck about watching what she eats._

It’s been too long since he’s enjoyed a woman’s company in a public setting before enjoying her in a bed. And he realizes he wouldn’t mind doing this again; he would very much like to do this again. Ben can easily picture it. Bringing her back, meeting with his parents, with his cousins Jacen and Jaina, laughing over truffle fries…. they would all love her.

“Sorry, I was hungry,” She whispers against his ear. He realizes he has been staring at the receipt without moving for quite a while.

He attempts to reassures her, placing a kiss on the top of her head, “It was my pleasure. Really.”

He signs the receipt with a quick flourish, leaving a generous tip, because honestly Charlie could have kicked them out 30 minutes ago.

Someone calls them an Uber. It may be Charlie, but Ben thinks it might very well be the Nordstrom heir – who has been to several barbeques at his place – because she gives Rey another high five and he swears she and her friends toast them on their way out, “To birth control!”

They slide into the Uber, Rey flashing the driver a thumbs up before wrapping herself around him again, her arms around his shoulders, again with a leg thrown over his leg. He manages to get the seat belt around her before their mouths slot against each other, and she tastes like a summer day – lemon, sugar, and vodka – her tongue hot against his.

“Congrats, man!” the driver calls after him and it is Ben this time who gives him a thumbs up.

Even though it’s a short ride up, he can’t keep his hands off her, holding either side of her face as he kisses her, slowly this time, caging her against the wall, wanting to swallow her whole. Neither notice that they have actually stopped at the top floor, and the doors start to close on them before Ben pulls away long enough to press the open button. Rey places her hand in his and he is pulling her towards his unit.

Once they are inside, he thinks he can make it to the bedroom. He wants her naked in his bed; but she has other plans, pulling at the collar of his coat, coaxing another kiss out of him.

“Shoes,” he teases and put some space between them They are quick to remove their boots and socks, she places her shoes right next to his, and they are a matching set of brown leather, his so much bigger than her own. He stares at them for a moment, wondering why they look so perfect together. _They’re fucking shoes, Solo._ He must be drunker than he thinks. But not that drunk, his dick reassures him and he takes a moment to stare at Rey who is also looking at the shoes.

“You’ve got big feet, Solo.” She dissolves into laughter as he tries to reach for her. She shakes her head ever so slightly and then starts to peel off her clothes. She slides her jacket off first and she almost has her vest unzipped when he decides to join her. His sweater and undershirt come off at the same time. She throws her shirt on top his clothes, and stands before him in a black satin bra and her jeans. In an instant his hands are on her hips and she is hiking herself up at the same time he lifts her, her long legs wrapping around him. He presses her back against the door, their mouths crashing together.

She squeezes at his shoulders before running her hands down his back, then sliding in front of him to press at his abdominal muscle. Her legs are squeezing at his waist, and he can feel the heat of her through her jeans.

_“Jesus H. Christ,”_ he groans as his mouth trails at her neck and then to the top of her demi-cups. He leans forward after her hands find their way back to his shoulders and he sucks at the top of her breasts, leaving purple blooms against her tan skin. She’s freckled _everywhere._

He kisses each breast, lingering at the valley between them, and her scent is intoxicating. When he exposes a nipple to the air, he nips it with his teeth, he sees the goosebumps on her skin and feels her shivering under his lips.

He sucks and licks and bites at her gently, loving the mewling sounds she is making as she starts to rub her hot center against his belly. He unhooks her bra and takes as much of her breast as he can into his mouth.

“Please, Ben. I need you. Now,” she groans and he peeks up at her. Her head is thrown back, exposing the long column of her throat and he leaves her breasts to suck at her neck  – not enough to bruise even though he wants to leave traces of him on every part of her skin.

His hands grip at her lower back, and her legs and arms tighten against him as he pulls away from the door. He carries her and starts to make their way towards the master bedroom.

He doesn’t turn on the light when he gets to his room. The windows glow with enough light from outside that he can make out the shape of her easily enough. He deposits her on the edge of the bed in a sitting position, while he kneels before her. He moves her hair from her shoulder and places his lips on her neck, ghosting them softly. She shivers again and wraps her hands again around his shoulders, dragging him closer – looking for more friction. The feel of her breast against his chest triggers little shocks from him. He pauses for a moment, trying to normalize the feeling of her against him, but it’s a losing battle.

“Rey,” he whispers against her neck and then sits up. He reaches for her buckle, undoing it quickly. It’s not about finesse – he just needs her naked – and his hands are hooked into the side of her jeans, pulling them down her long legs.

His world narrows once the jeans are off her and he can touch her everywhere. Her black serviceable underwear is cut low, her ass cheeks are peeking out of the bottoms and her bare skin is so fucking soft. She’s leaning on her elbows, a perfect position that allows him to suck at her breasts. For the life of him he can’t decide if he likes her ass or her breasts more at this point.

And then she opens her legs in invitation and he slips between them, his hands caressing the top of her thighs. It’s her cunt that’s his favorite, he decides as he smells her. She’s earthy and tangy and he’s thumbing her sex over her the cotton. Her mouth opens in a beautiful O as her eyes flutter close. The fabric is already soaked under his fingers, and he slips his thumb, sliding into her wet folds. His cock strains against his jeans… now that he’s touched her, he wants to fucking taste her, and then he wants to feel her all around him.

She lays all the way down, and he tugs at her panties – _what a waste of fucking time underwear is,_ he decides as he tosses them over his shoulder. _There is no need to have anything between them_ , he thinks. The farther any clothes are are from them, the better.

She pushes against his thumb, every time he reaches her clit. He could stay like this for a while, but decides he wants to see her. He stands up away from her and she groans. Her eyes open and they are accusing. _Ah there’s his girl._ He chuckles. “I’ll be right back, don’t move.”

He unbuckles his belt as he makes is way to the lamp at his bedside, pressing at the switch and never taking his eyes off of her a she cranes her head back to look at him. The light is instant, but soft so it doesn’t take too long to adjust. His belt is off, and he is out of his jeans and boxers as fast as he can manage. It’s not elegant, he’s still tipsy but he doesn’t give a damn what he looks like, when all his senses are filled with her. He takes a condom from the bedside drawer, not needing it just yet, but he’s not leaving her again.

She swallows and her eyes linger on his cock for a few seconds and then, “Come back.”

He only needs to be told once, his knees on the rug, supplicant in front of her. He’s spreading her thighs until he can see all of her. _She is so goddamned gorgeous._ Her cunt is bare, pink, and glistening with want, and she has only a small neat trim patch of hair above it.

His hands spread her legs wider and over his shoulders and he nudges at the top of her cunt with the tip of his nose, right at the hood of her clit. She groans at the contact. _He knows this sound. It is the sound she makes when flavor explodes in her mouth – and the thought of her mouth, her beautiful fucking mouth –_

He licks a wide stripe from the bottom of her cunt, all the way to her clit and she tastes as good as she smells, _the ocean, the forest, sunshine_   - he groans at how fucking incredible she tastes.

He licks a few more times, his tongue dipping deep in to the very core of her, the tip ghosting over her bud until she’s a moaning mess under him. Then he sucks her, and she almost writhing off the bed. Her short nails digging into the meat of his shoulders – _gods yes –_ and the heels of her feet digging into him, always pulling at him. He scoots her forward, looking for _more_ , wanting to be inside her anyway he can.

She’s breathy and high pitched. _Ben, Ben, oh gods Ben._ Her fucking voice is doing things to him – he hasn’t been this hard ever, and he _knows_ he is not going to last once he’s actually inside of her.

There’s not much time when he feels the small changes in her body, her legs clenching around his face, sucking at her clit until she starts to come down, and he slips his tongue inside her cunt, feeling her clench against him. Her back arches and his hands caress her back, her stomach, up to her beautiful breasts.

He places small chaste kisses against her mound, around her cunt, at her thighs. When he looks up at her she is staring right at him. His beautiful, beautiful girl looks completely wrecked – _I did that and I’m going to fucking do it again and again_ – and her feet continue to press against his back, pulling him into the best kind of embrace. _“More, Ben.”_

He gets on the bed, one of his leg hitched over hers as she laid out before him. It’s easier to bring her to a second orgasm, this time with the help of his fingers. Two, then three inside of her, curving up until he reaches a spot that makes her moan. He watches her come undone this time, and while she floats down, he traces her wetness on her breasts, the valley between them; dipping into her again for more of her juices. He leans forward to take a nipple into his mouth and her hand reaches for his, bringing the fingers that have been inside her to her mouth. She sucks on the and he twitches against her hip. _Jesus fucking Christ almighty._

She pulls his fingers out of her mouth with a pop, and laughs while still holding his hand, “You’re not religious, are you?”

He hadn’t realized he had said anything out loud. He moves, so that she is beneath him, and his erection is hard against her belly as he adjusts himself between her legs. She opens her legs for him and then she traces the length of him, capturing the precum that is leaking from his head with her thumb. She brings that to her mouth, her eyes locked with his, before sucking down.

“We’re St. James attending Catholics.”

“Do you go to confession a lot?” She asks after removing her thumb. When she reaches for him again, she pumps him slowly.

He can’t answer her, not when her hands feel so good around him. Instead he buries his head against the crook of her neck. She smells like sweat and sex, and more than anything in the fucking world he wants to bury his dick inside of her cunt and his tongue inside of her mouth and never leave the bed.

“You’re going to have a hard time fitting in my mouth.”

_“Fuck.”_ He reaches for the condom and tears into the packaging.

“I’m clean and I have an implant,” she whispers and he winces.

He’s probably clean. It’s been a few months since his last sexual partner – _how the fuck has he gone months without having sex –_ it’s a drought for him and he hasn’t even noticed. But no matter, safe sex has been ingrained in him, his mother made him sit in multiple sessions sponsored by the Foundation before he was even sexually active, and as soon as he turned 18 he’s peer led sex ed sessions in different countries and in multiple languages. He’s never going to put himself or a partner at risk.

But how he wants to. How he wants to feel the heat of her surrounding him without any barrier. He imagines spilling into her, leaking out of her, tasting himself between her legs. He decides then and there he will take the test tomorrow. Then one week before he’s in the clear. One week before he can bury himself inside of her.

“Soon, baby,” he tells her and there’s a quick flash of disappointment in her eyes before she’s nodding at him. She helps him roll the condom on, and then his hands are gripping her thighs hard – _he wants to leave marks all over her –_ opening her up to him and sheathing himself inside of her. He slides in, she’s still so wet, but she’s so warm and tight that he doesn’t move for a few seconds.

She tightens her muscles around him and smirks.

“I think I could come with you just doing that,” he tells her before trailing kisses from her neck to a nipple that tastes like her cunt. His hands are on her hips, his fingers pressing up into the bones of her lower back so that he can get deep into her.

“You feel so good,” she whispers. “I’m so full of you and it feels so good, Ben… but I really want you to move now.”

He does and he’s lost in the feel of her. He knows he won’t last long, but he’s determined to have her come one more time, with him if at all possible. His thumb ghosts over her clit as he pumps into her hard. Her tits bounce with each thrust, and he can’t help from sucking on her breasts.

“Oh gods, yes, right there,” she whispers and her legs come to wrap around him. She’s squeezing him with her internal muscles tightly, he can feel his balls tighten, and it doesn’t take long before he comes. He’s loud. He doesn’t care who hears him, and she’s saying his name over and over when she comes soon after.

They lay there for a while, his fingers tracing a line from the side of her breast to the curve of her ass. Much later she gets up to use the bathroom, and he takes care of the condom. And in those few moments they are apart he realizes. _Again. He wants her again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure there are tons of little errors. Maybe I need a beta? I should get a beta right?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no control how often I update.

Rey comes out of the _en suite_ a few minute later, and he sits up in the bed, letting the sheets pool around his waist. She is naked still, and his eyes trace the trail of bruises he has left on her breasts, stirring the primal inside of him. She looks thoroughly debauched, with her lips plump from kissing him, and her hair a mess around her face.

When she gets to the bed, she lays a hand on his pectorals before straddling him, positioning his dick between them. Just the small touch, and he’s half hard and getting harder, she looks down, considering it, and then pumps him. He groans into her shoulder, as he finds the small of her back with one hand, the other coming to rest on her stomach. He sucks softly at her shoulder before pulling back. Her brows furrow, and there is a question on her lips. He waits, _he’ll wait for as long as she needs._ And then she shakes her head – to herself or to him he doesn’t know – until she leans into him and kisses him. He wants to know the question, but she tastes so good. He’s determined to ask her later, but now. Now all he wants is her.

He scoots them higher on the bed, and is reaching for the top drawer of his bedside table for a condom. She put her hand over his dick, pressing it against her belly and he’s leaking precum on her stomach. He’s going to lick it off her later, he decides.

And he does. But only after she has ridden him, chasing her next orgasm; only after he has her on all fours, spreading her _fucking perfect_ ass cheeks and pressing his fingers at her puckered hole; and only after he has her on her back, fucking her as hard as he can – as hard as she can take it – into the mattress.

Only after he has come, his dick buried deep inside her; only after she is boneless beneath him, and he has thrown the condom away. Only then does he come to lie between her legs, wrapping them under his arms. He licks her stomach, not knowing if the salty taste is her or him.

This is different. He doesn’t cuddle, but will allow it for a short period with his partners; and then he’s up, putting clothes on and leaving. He rarely stays over and rarer still has women in his bed. When it does happen, he’s quick to establish sides, putting underwear back on, taking the spot closest to the door. He doesn’t like people in his space once he’s gotten what he needs. _This is not long term_ he tries to gently show them by unwrapping the more touchy-feely women from his body. And if that doesn’t work he will in no uncertain terms give them the truth, _this was fun, thank you but I don’t need a relationship right now._ Without feeling, it’s not personal. He doesn’t need physical touch outside of sex _._

But this is different. Her hands reach into his hair, brushing the locks away from his face, and it’ sweet, soothing. He places his head on her ribcage planning to do it only for a moment. Her breath lengthens, and falls into the deep of sleep, and her hand falls, still tangled in his hair. He thinks he should move. He’s probably heavy. But he can feel her heart right under his ear, and he doesn’t want to leave the comfort of her.

He falls asleep planning on how he’s going to get her to come back her later tonight.

* * *

It’s 6:30 AM, his internal clock never letting him really sleep in. He should be hitting the gym, getting some work done, but instead –

Rey is soft and warm under him. He’s gentle, and she doesn’t wake when he slips out from between her legs – she’s going to be sore from keeping the position, _she’s going to be sore from other things_ – she barely moves. Is it the sleep of a long night of sex, or alcohol induced sleep, or maybe a combination of both. He’s going to find out what she’s like, he’s determined.

With a kiss to her temple, he’s up and reaching for his pants, there’s no need for underwear, he’s not going to be gone long from her. Just grab some food and then back in bed where he’ll keep her for a few hours before she has to leave for work. He is going to do his damnedest to get her back in to his bed later tonight. And hopefully all of Sunday.

He heads to his closet and grabs the first sweatshirt and cap – both Seahawks – he can find. He throws away his contacts and switches them out for his glasses. He can get his car, pick up some bagels from a place close to the bar, and be back in less than an hour. She’s lightly snoring when he passes through the bedroom again. He smiles and shakes his head. He very much wants to wake her up with his head between her legs. Hopefully she’ll still be asleep when he gets back.

While he’s walking up towards the bar, his phone pings -

A text from Poe comes in.

> Poe: **_Wanna meet at the gym at 8:00?_**
> 
> Ben: **_Poe. What does Rey like to eat?_**
> 
> Poe: **_?_**
> 
> Poe: **_What doesn’t she like to eat...._**

The ellipses come and go.

> Poe: **_It's 7am ben why are you ask- is she fujxibf there?_**
> 
> Poe: **_Did you just duck your intern?! Ben did you just have a fuxkubf one night stand with finns_** **_best friend his soul sister? Are you kidding me right now?_**

His phone starts to ring.

> Poe: **_Fucking pick up._**
> 
> Ben: **_So bagels._**
> 
> Poe: **_She is not a fucking notch in your belt! Good god she’s your intern, you’re not immune to corporate rules. Fuck you’re not immune to sexual harrasmnet suits. JESUS H CHRSIT PCK THE FUCK UP._**

His heart stops. Rerunning everything from the night before in his head. They had been drinking a lot. It was consensual, he would stake his life on it. But she was an intern. Reporting to him. _Holy fuck._

                Ben: **_I’ll call you after._**

He runs to his car, foregoing the bagels he heads back down the hill to his place, making deals with the universe, _Let her still be there. Let her be asleep, I’ll wake her up, take her to breakfast, take her to work, just let her be there. Please._

But when he opens the door to his apartment, he knows immediately. Her shoes are gone, only his sweater and jacket are on the console table, folded neatly. He slumps down the door, until he’s seated on the floor. _What the fuck is he going to do?_

* * *

 

When he calls her, she picks up on the first ring.

“To what do I owe this pleasure, son, at 7:30 in the morning?” He can hear his father in the back. _Ben? Tell him to come over. I want to work on the Falcon today._

“Hi, Mom.”

“Ben?”

“I may have fucked up.”

He hears her moving around, and he can image her waving his father away, slipping to her study where she can take the call in peace. Han hovers over his wife when they are together. _Still_. _After more than thirty years together._

He thinks he is beginning to imaging wanting someone like that. But it may all come crashing down on him.

“Do I need to get Lando involved, Ben?”

“Maybe? Probably.”

“Jesus Christ, what happened?”

“My intern. Rey Andor.”

_“What about your intern?”_

* * *

 

He gets off the phone with his mother to answer a call with Lando, and after that his father calls him. Han’s only advice is _Not saying you’re like me, but dammit kid you’re a little too like me_. _Marry the girl. Maybe?_ He didn’t respond to that. His entire career is on the line right now. His reputation. His life. And his father wants to joke.

He takes a shower. Cold. Rinsing the smell of last night – alcohol, sweat, sex, the smell of Rey – off of him. With a towel wrapped around him, he stands in his bedroom and takes in the rumpled sheets, his jeans on the floor, condom wrappers nearby. He can smell her, even underneath all his soap. And he's glad he can. But... 

_How do things change so quickly? She was just here, and he had been happy…_

He’s still in his room, sitting on the floor and looking at his bed, when his phone pings and it’s the group chat with his cousins and Poe.

> Jacen: **_Heard you boned an intern._**
> 
> Jaina: **_Gross. Is she 18 at least? No srsly? Did you really?_**
> 
> Ben: **_Fuck you poe._**
> 
> Poe: **_It sounds like I have to get in line_**
> 
> Ben: **_I called my mom. And Lando._**
> 
> Poe: **_Jesus ben. You take everything so seriously. It’s fine. She and Finn talked_**
> 
> Ben: ** _You told Finn?!_**

Ben is going to kill his best friend. He is going to throw the phone at - something, maybe he'll wait until he gets to Poe's house and then shove it up Poe's ass - 

> Poe: **_Gods no. Are you stupid? I def didn’t tell Finn. But he talked to her this morning and he didn’t mention anything about killing you or me so I figured she’s at least not going to press charges if she didn’t say anything to Finn_**
> 
> Jacen: _**No wonder you’re freaking out. Sounds like an HR nightmare. That’s why I don’t sleep with anyone at the hospital.**_
> 
> Jacen: **_But sounds like crisis averted. Celebrate. Go fuck someone else._**
> 
> Jaina: **_Yes, because fucking someone is why we aren’t here in the first place._**
> 
> Jaina: **_Mute yourself, Jace. Ben, do you need me to come over?_**
> 
> Poe: **_I can be there is a few hours. I’m going to go look at a dog. A Havanese would be on brand, right?_**
> 
> Jaina: **_Poe, you and Jace should both fuck yourselves. Ben, I’ll be over in a few._**

* * *

He is the oldest of Anakin and Padme Skywalkers’ grandchildren. Two years older than the twins, but it is Jaina who has always been the most mature. It may because she’s the only girl in the group, Ben doesn’t know. He’s just glad he has her in his life.  She’s always been there for him through whatever fuck up he get himself involved in. He can usually fix it himself, but damn it's nice having her in his corner. More than anything, she probably has kept him out of jail. 

She uses her own keys – the three of them have access to each other’s homes, cars, vacation spots, even some financials (they’re co-beneficiaries of a ridiculous number of trusts) – and has a brown bag of takeout food. He smells it and knows it’s from their favorite Thai restaurant near the bridge.

She heads toward the kitchen and he follows. It’s steel and marble and light wood, a comfortable room he uses often. He enjoys cooking and is constantly doing so for his family and few friends. He would have cooked for Rey if he had anything in his kitchen, but he hasn’t had time to go shopping. Not with the holiday planning.

He should have just made her cereal, he thinks as he sits at the counter above the prep sink. Then she wouldn’t have run.

Jaina pulls out a bottle of her father’s favorite scotch and goes to his liquor cabinet to pull two tumblers. She pours, generously.

They clink glasses and he manages to drink it all. Jaina cocks her head, then asks, “So an intern… was there a shortage at the model house you usually order from?”

“No. Not at all.” He has missed calls from the last few months to prove it.

“And she works _for_ you.” She pours for him, a smaller amount this time. When he sips, she’s satisfied and starts to pull out the containers, setting them open between them: fried rice, garlic chicken, beef and oyster sauce. Opening a drawer, she grabs forks and cloth napkins. They don’t need plates and share out of the containers.

“Yes.” He reaches for the garlic chicken. It’s crunchy and savory with bits of basil. Their favorite thing on the menu. But he’s only eating for nourishment at this point, his taste buds have abandoned him.

“And she’s going to work for you on Monday?”

“Unless I get a call from HR Monday morning, yes.”

She spears a piece of beef and chews slowly. “And if she doesn’t call HR?”

“I don’t know. Apologize. Make sure it doesn’t happen again. Have her transferred. Take some refresher training?”

There’s something there in his eyes she’s never seen before. He’s tired, but he also looks worried. Ben doesn’t get worried. “Do you want it to happen again?”

_Gods yes._ He doesn’t respond.

“Start from the beginning. I feel like I’m missing something.”

So he does. There are no secrets between them. He starts with the conversation with Jonah, taking her to the bar, getting drunk, bringing her back to his place, and then coming back to find her gone.

“You like her.”

He shrugs.

“No I mean you really like her. You bring her to your favorite bar – Uncle Han and my dad’s favorite bar. You brought her to your place. And then you let her sleep over. You were going to feed her. You really like this girl.”

“She’s amazing, Jai. She’s so fucking smart, and beautiful, and goddamn… I really like her.”

“Then, Ben, what are you going to do about it?”

* * *

He calls Lando again later that night.

“Kiddo! What’s up? You want to throw money at this problem? Because officially as GC for the Foundation and head of HR I can’t comment on that, but as your uncle… I think we can get a million dollars by Monday without your mother finding out.”

Ben’s a goddamned grown adult. Yet he and Lando both have a healthy fear of Leia Organa-Solo. Only an idiot wouldn’t fear her.

“Thanks, Uncle Lando, but no I do not want to _throw money at it_.”

“We should have the girl transferred sooner than later.”

“Yes, that. And… let’s say I wanted to pursue a relationship with her –”

“A relationship? Like with Bazine?”

“Oh, gods, no.” He rarely thinks about Baz. “Not like that exactly.”

“But you’re thinking _exclusivity_?” Lando chokes on the last word. Lando is on wife number 4. “Ben, does this girl even want the same thing?”

Ben pauses. _I don’t have boyfriends_ , she had said. And the feeling in the pit of his stomach is worse than when he thought there was a possibility she was going to report him to HR. She probably hasn’t even given him a second thought. She’s a 21 years old college student who doesn’t do serious relationships, why should she when she has her entire life in front of her? He the fuck didn’t and slept with whoever the fuck smiled at him during his undergrad years. 

In that case, he needs to get her away from him sooner than later. As fast as he can. Because he _wants_ her. And he can’t have her how he wants her.

“No. Nothing like that. Uncle Lando… I meant if I wanted to see her a few more times.”

“Just wait until she’s out of our department _._ Please.”     

He nods. Realizes Lando can’t see him, “Thanks, thanks again.”

* * *

He spends Sunday with Jacen at the fencing club. He doesn’t want to see Jaina, Jaina makes him think too hard. Jacen will ignore the problem unless Ben wants to talk about it, and Ben definitely does not want to talk about it. Jacen let's him fight it out. They're usually evenly matched, except when Ben is angry. Because Ben hones that anger in to a perfect weapon and he beats his cousin soundly. Several times. But Jacen says nothing except  _good match, want to grab a drink?_ even though he is bruised and tired. 

Monday morning comes too soon. Ben is awake again before his alarm, but instead of getting right up like he usually does he contemplates calling in and saying he’s going to work from home. But a quick look at his calendar shows he has three meetings he can’t miss. One is with Lando and only the fact that his mother is making her rounds across the US offices this quarter saves him from a meeting with her. 

_I’m flying to San Francisco Monday morning and will be gone for about three weeks, Ben. I expect this to be fixed before I come back._ His mother had warned.

He’s decided by the time he gets to work that the best way to take care of this is to follow Rey’s lead. He’s good at reading body language. That way it won’t be awkward. If she wants more, he is ready, willing, and able; if it was just a one time thing… he can adapt.He can fucking adapt, he's not going to let his dick rule him, and he's not going to lose it over some intern almost 10 years younger than him. 

Except at this point he knows he'll give almost anything he has to have her want him. Even if for a little while longer. Maybe a couple more times and he won't feel this way. Empty. Odd that he feels best when he is emptying himself into her. 

She isn’t in her cubicle when he gets in, he doesn’t expect her until after lunch. _Small blessings,_ he thinks and goes to his office, shutting the door. He opens his email and begins to go through his morning ritual of reading the daily updates he gets from several legal and policy sources.

There is a knock on his door, and Ben is pulled out of his reverie. He is still on the first email from this morning, and he realizes he has been sitting there for almost an hour not doing anything.

_Rey._ He thinks and his heart –

“Hey, Ben,” Jess walks in and she puts a paper bag in front of him, “There’s a couple of everything bagels with cream cheese in there. Still warm if you want. How was your weekend?”

_It was equal parts the best and the worst weekend ever_ , he thinks. “Sometimes, Jess, I wonder why I get out of bed in the morning.”

“If the rich don’t want to greet the week, what chance do the rest of us have?” Jess asks.

He’s saved from answering when Lando and Kare barge into the room. Kare mouths _sorry_ to him; she would have knocked at least.

“Oh good, you’re both here,” Lando heads towards the couch seating and Jess gives Ben a quizzical look. He shakes his head, stands and heads over to sit in one of the other open chairs. Kare takes the seat next to Lando, and Jess get the chair across from Ben.

“What’s up?” Ben asks, curious if Lando is going to lay it all out in front of all three of his attorneys. Only Kare reports directly to him, but Ben and Jess's boss Orson Krennic never denies them access to Lando. 

“I need to start shifting the interns around, move Andor out of Ben’s shop, and all the interns in general are going to consolidate under Kare.”

“Wait, why?” Jess asks.

“If Krennic were here I’d have him deliver the news, but he’s still on vacation, and I just got word the Foundation wants to move forward on another project that needs to be up by year’s end.”

“Which one?” Ben asks. Kare already knows, he can tell by the way she's at ease on the couch. She gives him a smile when she catches him looking at her, a good sign. 

“We’re going to start a medical school in Rwanda and Ben’s taking lead, with you as second, Jess. You two are going to Rwanda with some of our execs. Next week, but I promise you’ll be home by Christmas.”

Ben swallowed. This was one of the foundation’s newest projects, Lando and his parents had visited Rwanda last year for a cancer center ribbon cutting ceremony and during dinner with the Minister of Health had brainstormed on the idea of building a medical school attached to the major hospital.  It was an innovative school, one that aimed to transform medical care and education for the rural poor, focusing on doctor care and not technology.

Ben had been hoping to be on the project, Kare didn’t want it – she wanted to focus on the grants stateside which kept her busy. And Jess was ready for something international.

He looked at Lando who was giving him the same supporting look the older man had always given him, since was a little kid. “Thank you, Lando. I’m going to make you proud.”

“You usually do, Ben…. OK, the two of you figure out how to unload Ms. Andor – a month tops, sooner would be better – and let’s meet tomorrow to discuss details.”

They chatted a little longer, but when Lando and Kare left, it was Jess who squealed, “Oh my God! We’re going to Rwanda!” Followed not a minute more with, “ _Shit._ Rey would have been awesome on this project.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good god, I have no control. We really should be at the part where they're together already.   
> They have the talk - it does not go well. Ben solves his problems on brand.
> 
> Thank you, thank you so much to strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie for helping focus this chapter from the hot mess it was earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also if you don't think that Rey and Ben should put their genitals in other people you should skip this chapter. They agree to pretend the fuckening did not happen. That's all you need to know. You can go straight to Chapter 7 when it's published.
> 
> If you want a little more and just don't like to read about penetration then stop at [“Text me your room number,” he responds, biting at her earlobe.] and continue at [When he meets with Rey the next day, he wants to drop hints]

Rey is on Ben’s frequent contact list, so when she logs into the Foundation’s system a green dot appears before her name. He clicks, ready to IM her but what the hell are his options? His hands hover over the key, considering an opening: _How was the rest of your weekend? We need to talk. I’m sorry. Why did you leave? I could smell you in my sheets._

Considering and discarding. He sighs. He has always been one for quickly ripping the  Band Aid – if he even bothered to put one on.

> Ben: **_My office in 30._**
> 
> Rey: **_OK._**

She’s a younger millennial. Periods at end of sentences are an ill omen. He closes his screen and leans back in his chair; no work is getting done this afternoon either it seems.

He’s staring at his open door, willing her to appear and she does 30 minutes later. She pauses at the threshold, and maybe he imagines it, but she looks tired. She’s not wearing makeup, and her outfit is more utilitarian than usual, dark gray wool slacks and a green turtleneck sweater with her hair pulled into a messy bun at the top of her head. Yet, she is so effortlessly beautiful that Ben’s breath catches.

She looks at him then, the blush at her cheek instantly reminded how young she is. Their eyes lock before she quickly looks away, but it is enough for Ben to catch the shame in her gaze. _Shame._ That’s worse than any other scenario he had imagined: HR allegations or indifference he can deal with. Shame is regret and he regrets nothing except the timing of it.

He can do this – make it easier – for her, “Rey, come in, have a seat… I wanted to talk.”

She still hasn’t moved from the door. “Ben, I wanted to apologize-”

He raises his hand to stop her, “There’s nothing to apologize for.” _I can’t bear it if you apologize._

“It was unprofessional, and I never wanted you to think poorly of me. I respect you too much and… I just don’t want you to think badly of me.”

_Badly?!_ His hand grips the edge of his desk and his voice is terse, “I don’t like repeating myself, Miss Andor. Come in, sit down.”

He expects her to bite back, but she doesn’t. Instead she walks in, settles into one of the chairs in front of him, all without looking him in the eyes. She is empty-handed, nothing to take notes with. He sighs, this time with just enough to connote his displeasure. She needs him to make it their normal. He opens up a drawer and pulls out a legal pad and pen, slipping it across the surface of his glass table.

“There is nothing to apologize for. We’ll forget it ever happened.”

Her head jerks up and she stares at him, unblinking. She’s unreadable, inscrutable and she will do well if she goes into litigation. “We can do that.”

And then she reaches for the legal pad and pen, balancing it on her thigh, writing the date and his name under it. _Ben._  

“How was the rest of your weekend?” he asks.

“More of the same,” she lifts her head and stares him dead on. “You?”

He wants to reach across his desk, pull her up from the chair and drag her into his lap and shake some fucking sense in her. _More of the same? More of the fucking same?_

He doesn’t even know why he’s angry. He should be ecstatic. A woman after his own heart. Someone who doesn’t believe in strings, or relationships, and only pleasure. Instead he wants to beat the living shit out of whoever her hook up was, Gods help him if there was more than one.

He, of course, doesn’t tell her the truth. That he spent equal parts of his weekend fearing for his career, fearing for his sanity, and wanting desperately to have her naked in his bed again.

“It was uneventful.”

The meeting goes agonizingly slow. She gives him updates, and there are several places where he should interrupt and tell her that she will be transitioning to Kare’s team, but he doesn’t.

He remembers what Jess had said, how Rey would be perfect for the Rwandan project they’re working on. So instead, 20 minutes in, he shifts the conversation. “I want you to do some research for me – don’t tell anyone about it. I need you to get me a history of the health, health care, and health education in Rwanda, pre and post genocide.”

Her eyes widen. “And the Saudi contract?”

“Don’t spend any more time on it. This is a priority, and I think you’ll enjoy it.”

She smiles for the first time today, and it hurts his chest.

She is quick to leave when the meeting is over, rushing out and not bothering to close the door behind him. He should take a page out of Lando’s playbook and keep alcohol in his office.

There are a slew of texts on his phone when he reaches for it. It’s Jaina checking up on him, like she has been every few hours.

> Jaina: **_Well?_**
> 
> Ben: **_Everything is copacetic_**
> 
> Jaina: **_So hell in a handbasket then?_**
> 
> Ben: **_She apologized. As if she were the adult and I was a green naive child._**
> 
> Jaina: **_Jesus, Ben._**
> 
> Ben: **_She respects me too much she said and felt it was unprofessional._**
> 
> Jaina: **_No. She didn’t._**
> 
> Ben: **_She did._**
> 
> Jaina: **_Oh, Ben. I’m sooo sorry._**
> 
> Ben: ** _I will just chalk it up to a near miss._**
> 
> Jaina: **_Of what? A near miss of what?_**

He doesn’t answer her. A near miss of his ass on the line with his mother… he would have survived that probably, there is always going back to private practice. No, it was a near miss of something _more._ Something he’s never had.

* * *

He is an attorney, and what attorneys do best - before they go to law school, before they learn about logic and negotiation, and strategy - is over analyzing.

He does a play by play of the evening. Several times.

He throws everything that would be an HR flag into one bucket because it’s low risk. Rey is not telling anyone in HR, because she doesn’t see it as any sort of violation.

He throws the flirting and the sex into another bucket. The attraction was real. It has always been real… They did what perfectly healthy sexual beings are want to do: think with their hind brains and fuck. Had she been anyone else, a girl at a bar, a girl in his contact list, he would have chalked it off to a good night - a fucking, mind blowing, excellent night - and been done with it.

But everything else, her smile, the way she smelled, the things they talked about, the way she laughed, the way he wanted to keep making her laugh. All the things that pulled at a string deep inside of him, and made his brain and chest thrum, these he put into a third bucket.

He thinks about all these things for the next few days, but tries to focus on the sex aspect. He knows how to deal and process that, except his mind keeps circling back to the shit that’s non-physical. He’s fucked friends before. Who hasn’t… but there is a sharp tingling in his fingertips when he thinks of her, a catch in his breath when he sees her, and a tightening in his chest whenever she looks away.

He can’t go on like this. He won’t make it the almost thirty days until she transfers to Kare… and yet he dreads the thought of what will happen when she’s gone. He throws himself into work, planning for the trip, and the holidays. Anything to distract himself.

Later in the week, Ben attends a holiday fundraiser for Children’s Hospital. The hospital’s guild system is one of the most impressive fundraising apparatuses in the country (dozens of social clubs raising money for the hospital for over twenty years). The Mercer Island Holiday Guild throws lavish fundraisers around major holidays and other special days, including Han and Leia’s anniversary. This Christmas fundraiser - hosted at a Microsoft SVP’s mansion - costs $5,000 a table, and includes a dessert auction at the end of the night. Jaina always comes for the dessert.

As soon as Ben and Jaina enter the mansion, Ben grabs two champagne flutes from a passing server He downs his drink quickly and winces as the sweet sugary tastes hit his tongue. Jaina takes a sip and asks, “What is this fucking drink?”

“I think it’s sparkling cider,” he says. He doesn’t think he’s ever had cider before, but if this is it, it’s shit and should be banned from parties.

“Non-alcoholic? Why even?” Her voice rises.

Several people turn their heads to look at them, but then get a good look – _it’s the fucking Skywalkers, of course –_ before politely pretending not to listen.

“Might be because our host just celebrated his one year of sobriety,” Han murmurs coming up to them. Like his son, and most of the men in the room, he’s dressed in a tuxedo. Unlike Ben he’s already loosened his bow tie. He reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls a flask out and pours a liberal amount into his son’s flute.

“God bless you, old man.” Ben has spent the last few days drinking after work. Sometimes at lunch.

Jaina downs the rest of the content in hers and tilts it towards her uncle. Han shakes his head sadly, “You got a baby at home to feed, kid.”

“I won’t be home for hours. I’m good. I’m completely empty now, and by the time I see Jett for his feeding, most of the alcohol will have run through my system.”

Han looks at Ben for confirmation and he is quick to disengage, “I don’t read up on alcohol content in breast milk. It’s not something I ever want to be familiar with.”

“That’s what you say now, kid. That’s what you say now.” Han relents and pours into Jaina’s glass.

“Besides, how many breastfeeding initiatives does the Foundation support?” Han laughs at the look his son and niece give him. “What? I read. I keep up on this shit. I can say breastfeeding without giggling like a 12-year-old.”

Han looks around the room sipping openly from the flask. “You know, I married your mother so I wouldn’t have to come to these things alone and yet…”

Ben hides his smile behind the flute; Han always looks a little lost at these things when Leia is not around. “How dare she leave you to the wolves.”

“We’re here,” Jaina reminds him, patting his arm.

“It’s not the same, and you know it. Where’s that husband of yours anyway?”

“A business trip. Luckily, it’s the last one of the year, and then we’ll all be in town for the next few months. It will be nice to be home and enjoy being together with the family.”

“You and Jace headed to Whistler after Christmas, Ben?” They often take a cousins’ trip around the holidays, gleefully telling their parents they are not invited.

Ben shakes his head, “I’ll only just have come back from Rwanda, Dad, remember? And then once I’m home I think I’ll be staying put through January at least. Jace hasn’t said anything but it probably depends on who he’s dating right now. Isn’t he seeing some snowboarder?”

Jaina shrugs, “Who can keep track?”

A server passes by and Han grabs a few skewered chicken satay appetizers. When they’re alone again, he asks Ben, “Whatever happened to that girl?”

The father and son square off for a moment, and Jaina won’t look at either of them, instead staring at the large chandelier that dominates the ceiling. Ben feels his shoulders squaring, and the telltale pulse at his chin - he knows his own tells. “Nothing happened. It was a nonevent.”

“That’s good.” Han doesn’t break eye contact.

Ben does and it’s as if he is ten years old again. They both know he’s lying, and Ben wants out of this room full of people, he needs away from his father’s knowing gaze. “I need some air. I’ll find you guys at dinner.”

Han cuts his son a break, reaching for his now empty flask in Ben’s hand, “There’s a no host bar near the pool area. Have them fill this up for me, will you?”

Ben nods and gives Jaina a small smile before exiting out of the double doors at the end of the room. The bar is right outside the ballroom and there is a row of bartenders taking orders. After Ben buys a bottle of 20-year-old whiskey at double the price - _thank you for your generous donation, Mr. Solo -_ he heads for the extended covered balcony that overlooks the pool area. There are a few heating lamps so it’s a comfortable space but no else has ventured up here, and he settles in a thickly upholstered settee.

He reaches for his phone and reads through a few work emails. _As if he doesn’t know what he’s looking for._

There are more than a few emails from Rey. She’s writing executive briefs on various aspects of Rwanda’s health care system. Typed thankfully - and he smiles, thinking of how she spent one of her earlier weeks scanning and then emailing her handwritten notes to him. All because he said her handwriting was atrocious for the umpteenth time. _Simpler fucking times._

Her analysis is spot on. Rwanda’s healthcare has recently been revamped. It’s universal and is now one of the best systems on the continent. She includes the new cancer center in her report, and he nods along as he reads her notes. _In a rural setting, it’s innovative.... I think they’re onto something…. There’s a lot of land there, the Foundation should think about associated care it could provide. I know that’s not your wheelhouse, but maybe get it to the healthcare policy guys - wait, I’ll get a conference call with the South Africa office and see what they can tell me. They’re probably already ahead of the game._

Not by much at the rate she’s going, he thinks. Her instincts are incredible.

He sighs. Email communication seems to be their saving grace. She’s open to him, unfiltered in email. In person, she’s skittish and for that reason he tries to stay out of her way. Also because every time he sees her, he can taste her still. The other night, when he was working late, he imagined her bent over his desk, her perfect ass bare, and him tasting her from behind -

_Goddamn it._ He should just fuck it out. In his experience the best way to forget a girl is to move on to the next one. That was how he solved his Bazine problem, by sleeping with several of their mutual friends. Though truth be told, it was more Bazine gave him the perfect excuse - cheating on him with her professor - to sleep with a few women he’d wanted to hook up with. A few months more and he might have been the one caught cheating in all possibility.

He takes a long swig out of his father’s flask and then refills it. Maybe if he drinks enough, he’ll find the answer to the Rey problem at the bottom of the bottle.

“Hey stranger, you want to share?”

He looks up to see Cassidy, a classmate from high school looking down at him. Cass is everything he is used to, the typical woman he always has in his arms at events: she is classically beautiful: tall, willowy - she probably hasn’t eaten anything served at the party – blonde, and blue eyed. Her family owns several fishing vessels and do quite well for themselves.

“Hey yourself, stranger, have a seat.” He scoots closer to the armrest, and she joins him, lining her body as close to his as possible. They’re far from strangers, and she’s good in bed.

Her dress has hiked up, it’s ridiculously short and low cut for December in Seattle even with the heating lamps.

He passes her the flask and she drinks slowly, “It’s good. Even with the rehab, Uncle Mike is the consummate host, isn’t he?”

She crosses her legs and his eyes drift to her beautiful thighs. When he lifts his eyes, she is looking at him with a knowing smile. They both know where they’re going to end up.

_And seriously, he needs to stop fucking pining after someone who regrets the whole thing._

His hand finds the top of her thighs, indecently high, “So, Cass, what’s been going on these past few years?”

She’s living in New York, working her dream job at _Vogue_. While She drops the name of a few models they both are friends with her hands find the top of his and slides him higher up. This has to be a fucking sign from the gods that he just needs to get into the right headspace. _Or between the right thighs._

Maybe he fucking let it get too far. He had been in a drought before sleeping Rey, and that’s probably fucked him up more than anything. Two months. He should never go two months without sleeping with someone again. Hell, one week even - and he is dangerously getting close to that one-week mark.

“We should get out of here,” She whispers against his ear. “Your place?”

He pulls back a little and she pouts, which he has never found attractive in his peers.

“I came with Jaina, and she likes to stay for the dessert auction... but we can meet up after – where are you staying?”

“Unfortunately with my sister.” Dahlia was a grade above Cass and Ben in school, but he hooked up with her before Cass.

Cass seems to see where his mind is wandering, and she adds, “She’s married now. Happily. Exclusively. Two kids. She stays at home and is Suzy Homemaker.”

“That’s too bad… that you’re staying with her I mean. You can’t be as loud as you like.” He watches her eyes dilate. She remembers their encounters just as fondly it seems.

She replies back in a breathy voice smoothing the bow tie at his neck, “Your place -”

“That’s not an option, Cass.” No one is getting into his private space again. Not for a long fucking time.

She considers her options, and then, “I’ll get a hotel room. Tomorrow. The Fairmont.”

“Text me your room number,” he responds, biting at her earlobe. It’s a regimen he’s familiar with, like taking medicine, _do these things, take these steps, wipe Rey out of your system._

Maybe he should _fuck it_ and find a dark corner, but no, he wants Cass naked. Anyone to get the taste, the feel of Rey, out of his mind… or he might just lose it completely.

* * *

He finds out the next night that it is not the case. Fucking someone else does not solve the Rey problem.

Cass kisses every inch of his skin, takes as much of him as she can into her mouth – she can’t take all of him in - and his come dribbles down her mouth, and it isn’t enough. He can hear Rey’s voice in his head still, can map out the ghost of her curves under his fingertips.

Having Cass’s legs wrapped around him as he pounds into her, does not chase the memory of Rey Andor from him. When he comes again, he closes his eyes and bites his own lips from fear of saying the wrong name.

When Cass is boneless beneath him, she wraps her arms around his neck to try and keep him with her. It’s early still, not even 10 PM but he gently unwinds himself from her.

“Stay,” she says her lips swollen from sucking him, from kissing him.

“I have to go. I’m headed out of country soon and have a long list of things to do. Hell, I haven’t started packing.” He is already done with this. He wants a shower, he wants his own bed, he wants to lie in the sheets he has yet to wash since Rey left.

She palms him and his dick twitches. “Your cock says differently.”

Women don’t care about shit like auto reflexes, so he takes her hand off his dick and rises from the bed to look for his clothes. “No. I really need to go, Cass. It was fun.”

“When are you coming back?”

“Christmas Eve,” he answers as he puts his boxers and pants on.

“I’ll see you at your parents’ party the day after,” she says.

_Goddamn it._ His mother invites the universe to her Boxing Day Luncheon. “Yes. Probably.”

“Maybe we can do this again. I can see if this room is available. It lets me be loud.” She gives him a suggestive smile, baring the long column of her throat.

“I’m not making promises, Cass. You know that.”

“Ben. Why not? We’re older now, it’s time to settle down. We should see where this goes. I fly home enough… we could meet anywhere you want.”

He pauses from buttoning his shirt, “It’s not going anywhere. The farthest we’ll ever go is if you let me fuck you in the ass. And do you really want me to compare you to your sister that way, Cass?”

“What the actual fuck, Ben?!” She’s up now. Naked and reaching for a robe before she comes at him. “You’re a fucking asshole!”

_Yes, he fucking is._

* * *

When he meets with Rey the next day, he wants to drop hints that _yes, I too don’t give a flying fuckety fuck! I’m going to fuck everyone who throws themselves at my way, too._ It’s childish and maybe he’s just tired, because at this point, he’s only getting sleep by passing out from drinking too much. He doesn’t bounce back from binge drinking as quickly as he did when he was 22.

Instead, he hones in on her exhaustion: the dark circles under eyes, the sluggish way she moves. He also realizes that the sweater she’s wearing might be the same one she wore Monday. Is she sleeping with someone and not bringing clothes over? Is she actually falling the _fuck_ asleep and letting someone hold her through the fucking night?

He makes himself focus, listen to her runs through the current state of the pediatric system and stops her, “Send me your notes on pediatrics. My cousin can give me any pertinent information.”

“Jacen,” she says.

“Yes. Jacen. You’ve been reading up on him?”

She nods. “You mentioned him… before. And Jaina. Skywalkers. Jacen’s the doctor, and Jaina knows policy.”

He mentioned them. Before? And he realizes when. It was at the bar. Was it all less only a week ago? “You would like them,” he says.

He thinks she’s going to say _you already told me that,_ but instead she asks, “Where are you going? I looked at your calendar and you had all of next week and past Christmas blocked off.”

He realizes he hasn’t told her. Not much anyway. She doesn’t want to be near him, so he schedules their meeting in open conference rooms where everyone can see them, or at her desk, not in his office again. Today it’s in a conference room.

“Rwanda.”

She nods as it all falls into place, “Of course. Rwanda.”

“Yes. It’s a long-term project, so I’ll still need you to keep researching. Jess and I are headed out tomorrow and when we get back I’m taking a few days off… and with the holidays coming I’m assuming you’re taking off too and that means I won’t see you until the new year most likely.”

_To say goodbye,_ he realizes. He’ll have her transition to Kare’s care soon after the new year.

“Oh.”

“But you can keep sending me the research.”

“OK.”

When she gets up to leave a few minutes later, he tells her “Merry Christmas, Rey.”

“Merry Christmas, Ben.” She leans down and places a kiss on his cheek. Her smell, it’s her soap, lemony and fresh, nothing fancy; but it’s all her and he can still smell her, hours later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congrats to Adam Driver on his Tony nomination, and wow he does his own dishes.

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, I've been writing forever and have several wips in various states of completion (lol, only Feels Like Home, is complete). This fandom has given me so much this year and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have written this if it wasn't for the support from [strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie). Go read all her stuff. Now.


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